Far be it from me to criticize our Fearless Leaders during these trying times in the War on Terrorism
TM, but the color-coded Homeland Security Alert System is a crock of shit. (Warning: anecdotal evidence ahead)
My story begins shortly after we went to the Orange Alert, right after President Bunnypants announced that we were sending our mighty forces to crash Saddam's party. The college I attend, SUNY Potsdam, sent out e-mail and dead-tree notices to students that the national mood ring's color had changed, and that they would be even more Clear-Eyed And Focused Upon The Safety Of Students, with the standard "be sure to report any suspicious activity as soon as possible."
Shortly before the color change, a non-student had taken up residence in one of the rooms on our floor. The college has a 72-hour limit on visitors...but this guy had been hanging around for three weeks. For the most part he stayed in the room. Whenever he left, he had a habit of antagonizing at least one person on the way through. The people on the floor wrote a letter to the RD (residence director) of the building, informing her that this fellow was out and about, causing all sorts of trouble. Nothing happened.
When he threatened to kill my roommate and follow it up with some violence upon my own person, I put in a phone call to the University Police, informing them of the situation. (Keep in mind, this was right after we went to Orange.) The phone call went a little something like this:
Me: Hello, I'd like to report a stranger in the building
UP: Okay. Name?
Me: [snip]
UP: How long have they been in the building?
Me: About three weeks.
UP: Why didn't you report this before?
Me: Because he didn't threaten to kill my roommate or assault me until tonight.
UP: Have you talked to the RA at all?
Me: I wrote a letter to the RD earlier this week.
UP: And what did she do about it?
Me: Apparently nothing.
UP: We'll send somebody over to investigate. Call back in 24 hours if he's still there.
24 hours passed, and he was still there. I called back.
Me: I called last night in regards to [snip]
UP: Ah yes, we spoke to the RD, and she said that she would handle it.
24 hours passed again, and the situation remained the same.
Me: Okay, I called two days ago to tell you that a non-student had been staying in the dorms for the past three weeks. You said you'd investigate. I called you last night, and you said the RD would handle it. Well, another day's passed, and he's still here. I figure there must be some kind of misunderstanding here. A TRESPASSER HAS THREATENED THE LIFE OF A STUDENT AND THREATENED TO ASSAULT ANOTHER STUDENT, and you have sat on your hands doing nothing the past two days. I'm putting myself $1900 into debt for this semester for my room, while somebody else is getting a free ride. For all I know, he's got a gun or a bomb on him. You sent out messages earlier this week saying that you'd be on top of things even more so than usual because of the Orange Alert. If I told you he had brown skin and a turban and was screaming in Arabic at me, you'd have thrown him out the first night. When are you going to rectify this situation?
UP: We'll send somebody over right away.
About an hour later the RD and one of the University Police were there, and they wanted to ask me some questions. I let them in. I told them everything I've just laid down here (including my over-the-phone rant), and after I was finished the cop saw my locked strongbox.
Cop: What's in there?
Me: That's my strongbox. I keep my bills, tax paperwork, financial aid paperwork, and stuff like that in there.
Cop: So you wouldn't mind if I took a look in it.
Me: Actually, yes, I would. That's private personal paperwork in there.
Cop: Yes, well, some people frequently keep drugs in those, too.
Me: There's no drugs in there. Have you got a warrant?
Cop: Why should I need a warrant? You just said yourself there's nothing illegal in there, so you should have no problem opening it up for me.
Me: Are you serious?! I just got finished telling you a non-student has threatened to kill my roommate, and threatened to assault me, and you want to go digging for non-existent drugs? Thanks for your concern.
I then did the foolish thing, and surrendered my rights to let the good Officer of the Law go snooping around in it, so I could have the satisfaction of saying "I told you so, now go get rid of this guy."
He was finally removed about a week later.
The alert system is a crock of shit.