(Satire from Newsweek)
In a bold move to privatize Social Security, President Bush today put all of the program's funds under the control of former Education Secretary William Bennett, urging him to "work your magic" on the nation's nest egg.
Recognizing that many retirees are nervous about the privatization of America's retirement system, Bush reassured them today, stating flatly, "Bill Bennett is a safe bet."
The president said, "I have known Bill Bennett for many years. This is a man who knows when to hold 'em and knows when to fold 'em."
A beaming Bennett stood at Bush's side, the former education secretary and drug czar wearing what he later called "my lucky hat."