There are some holidays that are harder than others... for me, none are more so than Mother's Day.
There are many of us who don't have our moms around any more - whether they died when we were young or lived long enough to see us grow into adults with our own careers and families - there are few days when that absence is more felt than on Mother's Day. And for those children who never knew their mothers, or whose mothers left (or put them up for adoption), the pain must be even greater.
Below... some reflections.
I don't know about you, but perhaps the hardest part of Mother's Day when your mother has died is the endless litany of exhortations to "call your mother", "send her flowers", and "do something special for mom today".
Yeah, that's all fine and good... and I would, really, but I can't. Because my mother died in November 2007, and frankly, I don't think there's much chance of her answering her phone, seeing the flowers, or thinking anything I could do for her would be special.
And yet... I did actually do something special today for mom: I held a Mother's Day Tea, where I sang some showtunes and standards, songs that she liked. I read some poetry about mothers. And then I served tea and handmade breads to the attendees. It was sweet - I could remember my mother, speak of her fondly, and others were able to think of their moms (and a few even brought their moms along) and speak of them afterwards. It was a warm, heartfelt experience.
But as I was leaving, my head wasn't filled with songs I'd sung ("Someone to Watch Over Me" and "Night and Day"). Instead, I started singing "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child". Because for all the reminiscing and remembering, I felt the deep pain of her absence.
And then I came online to find websites, emails, Facebook posts, and diaries exhorting us to take care of Mom today. And if you're like me, it smarted a little. But... we can still remember, still honor mom, and most of all, honor the place we are in, holding our memories and singing softly to our injured hearts.
I leave for you a YouTube video of Bessie Griffin singing this amazing spiritual. May you have peace on this day.