What am I not doing, that might help? What activities am I not engaging in, as a community activist, that might add a tiny bit of push in the right direction?
Inspired by MB's question about what we are doing.
Well, mostly I'm not talking to people around here much. I try to be friendly. But you're supposed to start with small talk, and even the weather is a dangerous subject now, what with climate change.
Religion and politics and social roles have always been dangerous small talk topics here.
Nice ladies at the grocery store, people I thought I maybe kind of liked, overheard saying well of course they voted for Bush!
They're trying, here. They've started a community garden. I got in touch with one of the founders and donated a ton of seed, pots, lots of stuff I had around. Okay, so that's one of the things I've been doing. Positive!
But I haven't gone by to see their community garden yet, though it's been in the paper, though I'm sure they're working their butts off with it, with these 110 degree temps this month, stuff like that.
Why not? Because of the small talk. Because they are probably not organic gardeners. Because they likely think petroleum will last forever, if they think about it at all.
I should. I know. After fifteen years of disappointment in Eddy County, New Mexico; I should go talk to these people. I shouldn't just give them a terrific seed collection, hundreds of good pots, and a big bag of vermiculite.
I should go talk to them. So they can break my heart some more.
Because they will. That's the way it always goes.
But I should do it anyway.
Why?
Because my heart has already been broken, over and over again. My heart has been broken unto death; and guess what? I survived, and my heart did too. Neither of us is dead, and I'm still gardening, by gum.
So, dear Kossacks; I'll do it. I'll go check out these nice people trying to do the right thing, a few blocks down from the first house I lived in when I moved to Carlsbad, NM in 1998.
I'll crawl out of my hole and go try to talk to them. Even though they may think I'm too weird. Even though they may actually think I'm crazy.
Even though, even though.
Okay. So, that's what I'm doing. Trying to get past being totally freaked out by the people who live around me, here in Little Texas.
That's what I'm doing.
Thank you for listening.
love,
Miep