WARNING: If you read what I am about to post below, you will be required to take action within 24 hours. If you do not take action, Bush may be reelected to the whitehouse in 2004. (If you are a freeper troll, this doesn't count for you.)
You have been warned.
No, this is not one of those annoying chain emails. (BTW, if you are one who laughs at those and passes them along, knock it off. They are not cute, they are lies, and they are not funny.)
We've got about six inches of heavy snow right now. I just got bundled up and cursed beneath my breath as I headed out the door with the shovel. As I started shoveling, I looked up and down my residential street and noticed that no one else had shoveled yet. As I started to go down the street, shoveling each sidewalk as I went, I realized that this was something that a Republican would not do. I can also tell you that all of my neighbors are Republicans.
It took me just over an hour to shovel every sidewalk and driveway on my block. I'm a damn good shoveler, because I grew up in South Bend. Lake-effect region, dontcha know. (Like gas grills, snow-blowers are for PUSSIES!)
So, since you have read this far, and since you want Bush out as bad as I do, you must do something wonderful for someone within the next 24 hours. If it is for someone you know, you must do it in stealth mode. No fair sucking-up or kissing-ass. A latté for the boss does not count!
Likewise, if it is for a stranger, you cannot do it simply because you are looking to get laid. No latte's for the hottie in the apartment down the hall. In fact, no lattés at all for the purposes of this exercise. Forget I said latté.
As a side note, you are probably in the midst of a disagreement with someone you know right now. So...
Perhaps your teen is making you nuts. Take them out for a one-on-one dinner at the place of their choice. Shut up and listen. Try not to use his or her lingo. You will look stupid. Dont' say "bling-bling", and don't start the conversation with "sup dawg?"
Maybe someone at work is getting on your nerves. In this case, I will allow you to buy a latté, but it does not count for the good deed. Do not, under any circumstances, spit in the latté. If the offender is also a hottie, you are allowed to go for it, in this case. Godspeed.
With the stresses of the holidays upon us, perhaps you are arguing with your spouse or significant other. Go say you are sorry. It was probably your fault anyway. Then, treat him or her to oral sex, or at least a foot-rub.
That is my plan for ensuring Bush's one-way ticket to Connecticut next year. (Sorry CT friends, but you know he's not going back to Texas.) It couldn't hurt, right?
You have 24 hours.
Come back and let us know what you did.