All good right wingers know that Global Warming is a Hoax. Right? Damn right!
As a matter of fact, it is the greatest hoax known to mankind according to some of the zanier folks out there. In fact, not only is global warming fake, we may be headed for a period of global cooling, some say – like Smokey Joe Barton (R-TX) for example.
Unfortunately, for wingers and ol’ Smokey Joe, vast numbers of Tricksy Liberal Scientists refute these arguments (e.g., global cooling) by using actual science and facts and other elitist tricks to show the rise of world wide temperature. But rest assured, once Smokey Joe regains his seat as the Chairman of the House Energy Committee (if you don't do your job this November), he'll blow the lid of this great global conspiracy.
Fortunately for you, you can learn who is involved in this GLOBAL global warming conspiracy just by clicking the link below.
It has got to be tough to be a winger on Climate Science. Everyone is against you. The arctic ice is melting without permission. Plants are growing farther north than they are supposed to be growing. The Scientists are tricksy and false (except the 3% who are undecided). Retired Generals and Admirals believe climate change will lead to national security challenges with some of those same folk committed to reducing the carbon footprint of the US Armed Forces. Mass Extinctions of species are occurring globally.
However it is all a ruse we are told. A vast Conspiracy or check that....., a GLOBAL Global Warming Conspiracy. For a conspiracy to exist, there have to be several shadowy groups involved. Who are these people and why are they dedicated to fooling Real Americans about the greatest hoax known to mankind.
Let's take a look at the players:
Farmers. Farmers are inherently untrustworthy due to their dependence on government subsidies for the crops. Farmers were one of the first groups to sell out to the Global Global Warming Conspiracy no doubt with inducement from One-World Government Activists. Farmers aid the global conspiracy by growing certain crops further north than they should be growing them. They know they shouldn’t be doing this, but they do it anyway. They are real Bastards.
Climate Scientists. Well, Duh. Obviously, this group of highly educated elitists is on the list. Climate Science is dominated by 50 to 100 Uber-Scientists who are the only ones who really understand climate science. These Uber-scientists indoctrinate lesser Climate Scientists with a phony ideology, who then unknowingly indoctrinate the rest of us. They are evil. (Hat tip to Joe Barton on this discovery. One really can’t make this stuff up).
Bedouins. These Nomadic people claim environmental conditions are leading to a shrinking landscape suitable for their traditional way of life. But think about it. Isn’t it more likely that many Bedouins have been paid off by Liberal Scientists or One-World Government types to make this assertion. I’d trade a camel for a flat screen TV and an air conditioned Condo. Wouldn’t you?
One-World Government Activists. All good right wingers know that Global Warming Legislation is just one step further toward global socialism and blue-helmeted United Nations Troops Stationed along the Canadian Border. One-World Government activists team with Climate Scientists and Generic Liberal Scientists to promote this objective. They are dangerous.
Liberal Scientists (in general). Liberal Scientists research topics such as wild life habit and declining populations of certain species of fauna. Not surprisingly these Scientists jump to the conclusion that animals such as Lizards are declining worldwide at alarming rates due to increased averaged global temperatures. These Scientists never consider the possibility that these animals are merely hiding from them because they, understandably, may not like Liberal Scientists. They are Predictable.
Ice Patch Archeologists. Ice Patch Archaeologists aid the Global Global Warming Conspiracy by studying artifacts including plant material, animal carcasses and ancient feces that are being released from rapidly retreating ice fields. They could admit that they really don't know why the ice is melting so fast and that the various ice sheets could return at any time, maybe tomorrow, but they don’t so they stay on the list. They are complicit.
Polar Bears. This damning photo shows 3 climate activists, with one Polar Bear concealing a Blow Torch, below. It is all you need to know about them and their role in the greatest conspiracy known to mankind. They are by no means innocent.
Obviously there are more groups yet for Smokey Joe to uncover and blame. I suspect that once Smokey gets the gavel, these Groups will just be tip of the Ice Berg.
It has got to be tough to be a winger.
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