Now, if you have family or friends that are against the Ground Zero not-even-really-a-mosque being built, show them this segment from Jon!
They're gonna build a mosque at Ground Zero? We haven't even rebuilt a building at Ground Zero! Now they're going to build a mosque on that hallowed ground? Or is it not exactly hallowed ground?
BILL HEMMER (8/3/2010): This is 45 Park Place in Lower Manhattan. It used to be the Burlington Coat Factory.
OK, actually, I think that's a couple of blocks away from Ground Zero. Not that the Burlington Coat Factory is not hallowed ground. In fact, I would say anywhere you can get a London Fog trenchcoat for under $300 is a place to be revered.
All right. Let's clarify a couple of things. It's not technically being built at Ground Zero, it's more Ground Zero-adjacent. And it's not technically a mosque, it's an Islamic cultural center. So for its critics, what location would be acceptable?
PAT BUCHANAN: ... move it several blocks away ...
BILL O'REILLY: ... put it 5 blocks away or 10 blocks away ...
RICH LOWRY: ... a 15-block radius ...
NEWT GINGRICH: ... 20 blocks away ...
ANDREA TANTAROS: Why not the Upper West Side in Woody Allen's building?
Woody Allen?! Woody Allen?!? That's your go-to out-of-touch New York liberal Jew reference? What, are they asking to build a mosque in 1976? Why don't you build it by New York Yankee rookie sensation Ron Guidry's house? See how Louisiana Lightning likes it. New York out-of-touch liberal Jew? Helloooooooooo. I'm right here!
By the way, technically, um, Woody Allen does actually live on the Upper East Side. Mia Farrow is the one who lives on Upper West. Stick to holy wars, you do not want to get in the middle of that fight.
So to the untrained eye, the mosque's opponents may appear to be equating the goals and aspirations of the entire Muslim faith, a religion of 1.4 billion people around the world, with the goals and aspirations of al-Qaeda, an extremist terrorist group of homicidal cave-dwelling dickfaces. Look it up on Wikipedia. But that's got nothing, nothing, to do with it.
LAURA INGRAHAM (8/4/2010): I think the legitimate question to ask, George, is why? Why there? And no one's protesting it around the country building mosques, I don't think. I don't think there's big sit-ins at mosques, so I don't think we're intolerant.
Exactly, it's not intolerance, nobody would care if we built one in Staten Island.
ABC7 ANCHOR(6/10/2010): Staten Island, and a plan to turn a former convent into a mosque and community center, has outraged thousands of residents.
OK, all right, I get it. Technically, Staten Island is a part of New York City. So, all right, send that mosque down to Tennessee, get some ol' Southern hospitality.
TONY HARRIS, CNN (7/15/2010): Hundreds of people in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, protested against a planned Islamic community center.
All right, I get it. Tennessee's on the same coast as New York, so... send it out to the heartland, baby! Wisconsin, real America!
LOCAL NEWS ANCHOR (5/10/2010): Controversy over a mosque in Sheboygan County. ... Many people in the area are concerned about having a mosque in their backyard.
OK, OK, Wisconsin, Islam, bad combo. Nobody wants to see something like this, yeah, OK, I get it, I get it.
Let's just get away as far from Ground Zero as we can. California, bunch of liberals, they probably just look at it as one more building to get gay married in.
ABC7 ANCHOR: Bullhorns, American flags, and cardboard signs denouncing Islam. They're protesting because the Islamic center wants to build a mosque right here in the city.
Why does everyone think America is divided? It appears distrust of Muslims is the one thing that goes from sea to shining sea. Haven't any of these people heard of freedom of religion? Lieutenant Governor of Tennessee, you want to take this one?
RON RAMSEY (7/14/2010): I'm all about freedom of religion. You can even argue whether being a Muslim is actually a religion, or is it a nationality, way of life, or cult, whatever you want to call it.
I think religion is what they want to call it. But point taken. You know, I can see being confused by Scientology, or the thing Madonna does with the red bracelets, or this whole Justin Bieber craze, certain World of Warcraft guilds, Harry Potter book clubs, but I think 1,400 years and over a billion Twitter followers, Islam's kinda accepted as a religion now. But some people, I guess, don't want to be lectured about religious liberty.
NEWT GINGRICH (7/27/2010): I don't want to be lectured by them about religious liberty at a time when there's not a single church or a single synagogue in Saudi Arabia. And I don't see this group demanding that the Saudis should open up and allow churches and synagogues in Saudi Arabia.
Exactly! Why should we, as Americans, have higher standards of religious liberty than Saudi Arabia?! It makes no sense! And by the way, if there's one thing that Newt Gingrich and Republicans have always stood for, it is cutting off all ties with Saudi Arabia. But the grip is so tight, the Saudi grip, if they would only let go of our hands.
You know, this whole thing just makes me very sad. Can't we just have some kind of communal event where we try and come together?
7/26/2010 (Alachua County, FL): And that burning of the Koran ceremony will take place right here on the church's front lawn from 6 to 9 on September 11th.
I was actually thinking more of an interfaith breakfast, but OK.