I am well known to some here as an Anglo-Catholic, Anglican musician. I have served a parish in Boston which was, at one time, the monastery and mission church of the Society of St. John the Evangelist-- the founder of which was once Father Superior there-- and from 1910-1960, my predecessor a couple of times removed was not only Choirmaster and Organist but became one of the most celebrated musicians in Modern Anglicanism, Everett Titcomb (1886-1968). I know my Pappenheimers, as the Prussians might say.
I have served the Church well. I am now ready to renounce it. Follow me over the fold for more.
I am a "cultural Christian" of the "small 'c' Catholic variety. I like smells. I like bells. I like vestments. I like plainchant. I like the quote that says that "Good Church is Good Theatre". I like all that. But I don't believe all that. In fact, I think it is dangerous. I think it is nasty.
I was going to write a diary about how atheists and theists were misunderstood by one another. That would not do. I want to write a sort of confessional diary here about how Christians can crap on one another, and use--or, for that matter refuse to use--"What the Holy Spirit is Saying to the Church" to throw one another under the bus.
Case Study Number One
Back in the late 90's, I worked as "Minister of Music" at a Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Katy, Texas. The Christian Church is a liberal but "evangelical" denomination which is not "Fundamentalist", link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/...
Well, about half of the congregation and a majority of the Lay Leadership considered themselves "Fundamentalists" and insisted that the Rev. Dr. X, a graduate of one of the best seminaries of the Disciples of Christ, in Texas, adhere to them though he was not bound by them. What happened? They got together, under the cover of darkness, and plotted to expel the good Rev. Dr. It split the congregation. The Fundamentalist board had to resign to the one, they went off and started their own church in a middle school gymnasium, left our new organ unpaid for, left the Pastor and myself in place, and did nothing like what I have read in the Gospels. What a bunch of bastards. Of course, that's the story some of you want to hear......
It's all too common. Christianity is too full of such contradictions. While as I said, I am "culturally Christian" the same way in which some people are "Culturally" anything, I have come to the conclusion that religion is, in fact, dangerous.
I am not going to give up going to Church, or even working there. But I am certainly giving up the idea that "God", whatever she is, has any truck with us here on earth. Call me Thomas Jefferson, but I hereby come out as a "deist". I'll continue to love the ritual and the tradition, but I will no longer take anyone seriously who arrogates the right to speak for God.
Case Study No. 2
Commonmass gets sick. He has to resign from his job. "Christians" run around like chickens without heads trying to make sure that they don't have to pay me one more cent in severance than what is in my contract, which they cannot find, because they are all amateur administrators. But God talks to them.
I decide: God, whatever she is, either doesn't exist or is the cruelist SOB that ever lived. Former or latter, I care not.
So, culturally, I can get it. But when it comes down to it, I'm done. Full stop. I'm at least an agnostic. But I come out.
Here I stand, I can do no other.
The floor, my friends, is yours.