Was that enough to make you choke on your monitor?
You read it right. The "Nuge" is considering a run for Governor of Michigan in 2010, according to this article in the NYTimes.
Right now, he says the odds are 50/50 that he will throw his rifle hat into the pile.
"Even though Michigan needs me desperately - the pimps and the whores and the welfare brats need to be introduced to my crowbar - I think I would be better fortified and my family would be better fortified for the campaign, if I decided to do so, five years from now," he explained. "I was 99 percent ready to do it. In fact, I called Engler, I called Pataki, Huckabee, Perry," he said, listing the names of several current or former Republican governors. "I had the support of everybody."
Ah, yes, Ted, I am sure your crowbar will be a big hit at the Governor's annual gathering.
"Big bangs don't make this," Mr. Nugent said, musing on the steaming organ he held before him. "That's not a big bang. God made that. That's a liver. That's mystical. You and I can't make livers. Things banging don't make livers. This is mystical stuff. This is magic. This is perfection."
Surely, he jests. I wonder if he eats it raw, and steaming. Surely, it would be a perfect protein source too; no sense in cooking away those perfect proteins.
"You see that gut pile?" he added, pointing to a large hole that served as a maggot-infested dumping ground for animal innards. "That's my [expletive] church."
Errrmmmm...do you think he kneels before it and then has a bit of the "body" to absolve himself of sin?
He extols hunting as a way for people to get back in touch with what they're eating, and themselves.
Yes, I really need to get back in touch with my liver with all the fun I like to have at it's expense. Thanks, Ted, for that advice, will you please pass the shotgun now? Praise God and bless every one of those maggots.
He does not, however, believe in modern environmental issues like global warming. Asked for his view of the world, he expounded at length, at times belching, cursing, yelling, guffawing. He endorsed President Bush's foreign policy and railed against liberalism and the notion that the world's problems could be solved by negotiation.
"I'll show you some security and I'll show you some peace: Nagasaki and Hiroshima," he said, sandwiching an expletive between syllables. "You [expletive] with us and we'll [expletive] melt you."
Isn't that a pleasant thought and vision?
Conversations with the Nuge are "really not a discussion," said Stevie Guttman, a 28-year-old club promoter from Miami who answered an ad saying he could win money just by hanging out with a rock star. He was not expecting to be killing his dinner - one of Ted's first requirements was that contestants kill a live chicken. "It's more of me asking a question and getting his force-fed response whether I like it or not," Mr. Guttman added. "I don't think he's really too interested in how I could respond to that or change his mind.
Ahhh...so we are being given a hint at what it will take to get a job in the "Nuge" administration? Job requirements will include the ability to kill a chicken.
Isn't conservatism fun, folks?