From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Lest We Forget
Tick tock tick tock. My, how tempus fugits. It's been six years since George W. Bush's justification for the Iraq war officially crumbled to dust:
The hunt for biological, chemical and nuclear weapons in Iraq has come to an end nearly two years after President Bush ordered U.S. troops to disarm Saddam Hussein. The top CIA weapons hunter is home, and analysts are back at Langley. ...
Four months after Charles A. Duelfer, who led the weapons hunt in 2004, submitted an interim report to Congress that contradicted nearly every prewar assertion about Iraq made by top Bush administration officials, a senior intelligence official said the findings will stand as the ISG's final conclusions and will be published this spring.
Asked if the ISG had stopped actively searching for WMD, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said today: "That's my understanding."
The reaction from Commander Codpiece, who became personally involved in the search:
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be here somewhere. Maybe under here???"
Off the scale classy. But he was still able to smile at his second inauguration eight days after the WMD hunt was scrapped, confident in the knowledge that he had successfully defeated Satan's agents of the Apocalypse: Gog and Magog. (We hear they're returning on May 21. I bought them each a fruit basket.) And, as Fox News analyst Sarah Palin is quick to point out, we did capture the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks: Saddam Hussein.
But look at me, just rambling on. Where are my manners? Let me relinquish the blog to a few of my friends so they can get a word in edgewise:
"My colleagues, every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid sources. These are not assertions. What we're giving you are facts and conclusions based on solid intelligence."
---Colin Powell, United Nations "Vial of Baby Powder" Speech
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"Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies, and against us."
---Dick Cheney
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"We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."
---Donald Rumsfeld
To this day they still never invite me to their victory cocktail parties. Bummer.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Note: Yesterday was 11111. Today is 11211. I have no idea what that means, but just too be safe: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Valentine's Day: 33
Days `til the Alaska Beer and Barley Festival in Anchorage: 2
Net domestic profits earned by U.S. corporations since the fourth quarter of 2008: $609 billion
Net decrease since then in the amount these companies spent on wages and benefits: $171 billion
(Source: Harper's Index)
2010 U.S. birth rate per 1,000 teenage girls age 15-19: 39
Last time the teen birth rate was that low: 1940
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)
Estimated number of Americans who play fantasy football: 20-30 million
(Source: USA Today)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 173 (including 3 False Christs and...okay, better make that 4). Soul Protection Factor 10 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Schemers
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CHEERS to our new orange digs. If you missed it Sunday, here's the latest from Kingmaker Kos on the new Daily Kos Penthouse suite, including the estimated timeline for the switchover:
We're going to have to be down for nearly a day to transition to the new site. That includes dumping the entire existing database and then slapping it on the new site. Given we host about a half million comments per month (in addition to diaries, recommends, hotlists, etc), and have been around in Scoop format since 2003, well, that's a whole lot of stuff that's being moved over.
So rather than do that mid-week, which is what we'd need if we were going for a February 1 transition date, we'll do it the weekend after. So probably start on Friday February 4, and hopefully being officially transitioned by the end of Saturday, February 5.
This morning, for shits and giggles, I'm heading over to the beta-testing site to pee on the carpet and mark up the walls with crayons. Join me in C&J over there, if only to say, "Testes Testes One Two Three." ENTER HERE. And seriously: pay no attention to the human-animal hybrid pulling those levers behind the curtain. The temp agency swears by him.
CHEERS to Day 4. All of the wounded victims still at University Medical Center continue to improve, according to doctors. As for Congresswoman Giffords, her neurosurgeon says she has a 100 percent chance of survival now. And she continues making progress in performing simple tasks. C&J slipped a spycam into ICU (very naughty, we admit) and here's a transcript of this morning's routine:
Doc: If your name is Gabrielle, lift your index finger. [Lifts index finger]
Doc: If the current month is January, lift two fingers. [Lifts two fingers]
Doc: Can you mop the floor and make me breakfast? [Lifts middle finger]
Doc: Attagirl.
Took the word right outta my mouth.
CHEERS to facing your critics. Wow---my representative in Congress, Chellie Pingree, dropped by C&J yesterday to address a comment she'd made on Hardball Monday that mischaracterized a diary posted here at Daily Kos. What a class act:
Thank you Bill & the DKos community for the feedback. I did misspeak when I named the title of the blog on Hardball, my apologies. I appreciate BoyBlue's immediate response and explanation, and agree that this is not the equivalent of some of the more egregious examples, such as the infamous "gun sights" map. But I do hope that we all recognize in the wake of this tragedy that our words do matter and we need to choose them carefully.
Okay. All is forgiven. As long as you name a post office after us.
P.S. Speaking of words that matter: President Obama will speak this evening (8 Eastern, 6 Mountain) from Tucson at a memorial service for the victims of Saturday's horror. My drinking game: drink.
JEERS to Things That Will Haunt My Dreams for $400, Alex. The Tucson shooter---I don't feel like saying his name---is a bit creepy. Did you see that photo? The eyes are what spook the shit outta me---there's some serious rusty gerbil wheels behind 'em. Anyway, if you've ever wondered what the love child of Hannibal Lector and Colonel Klink would look like, this is it. But my main point is: I really hope you've never wondered that.
JEERS to wild weather. After ravaging the south, last night the word came down from our state's official climate geezer, whose knees are more accurate than any Doppler fuckin' radar: "Storm's a' brewin'." Today New England and my street are engulfed in a global cooling event known as a "blizzard." 9-10 inches of the white stuff are forecast. And, if we're lucky, topped with an additional 2-3 inches of crushed Oreos.
P.S. Seen the floods in Australia? Seen an auto insurance company's worst nightmare? Now you can see 'em both at the same time! I'll never complain about a blizzard again.
CHEERS to the not-so-artful dodger. Happy 256th birthday to Alexander Hamilton. He was one of our country's youngest Founding Fathers, but he wasn't very good at avoiding controversy (adultery, underhanded schemery in the 1800 election) or Aaron Burr's musket ball. Pay your respects here. Or you can just pull out a ten-spot and give it a pat.
P.S. Rush turns 60 today. Let's all join hands in a circle and not care together.
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Five years ago in C&J: January 12, 2006
CHEERS to the bloggers' wrath. Online residents of MySpace.com---which was bought by Rupert Murdoch and News Corp---promised they wouldn't interfere with the freedom of the site. Surprise, surprise...they were full of shit, and now they're hearing about it from angry bloggers:
The intervention by News Corp in the traditionally open-access world of the web---in particular the alteration of personal user profiles---provoked a storm of angry posts in online "blogs". "This is soooo like Fox and News Corp to try and secretly seal our mouths with duct tape," wrote "Alex" to Blog Herald.
Oh well. There's always Friendster. [1/12/11 Update: Someone remind me what the hell MySpace is, again...I mean, besides being the company that's slashing half its workforce? I get confused easily.]
JEERS to new bullcrap same as the old bullcrap. President Cheney's "last throes" has been replaced by something equally insipid. Army General George Casey now says the recent spate of violence in Iraq (29 more were killed Monday) is merely "an anomaly." Have these guys ever cracked open a dictionary??
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And just one more...
CHEERS to minty freshness. Shhhh...can you keep a secret? In a couple weeks the first of the 2011 "America the Beautiful" state quarters will be released. And since I always liked you more than everyone else I'll give you a sneak peek:
The Gettysburg Quarter features a depiction of the 72nd Pennsylvania Infantry Monument, which is located on the battle line of the Union Army at Cemetery Ridge. [The] image, which appears on the reverse of the coin, was designed by Joel Iskowitz and sculpted by Phebe Hemphill.
This year we'll also see releases for Washington, Montana, Mississippi and Oklahoma. I hear the latter features a polar bear giving James Inhofe a wedgie.
Have a nice Wednesday. Be prepared. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I kissed Bill in Portland Maine and he kissed me back. It seemed like the most natural thing to happen, you know? My dream finally came true!"
---Florence Hand
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