From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Oh! More Things I Know:
> It's odd that the Tea Party repudiates all things international but embraces "Austrian economics" as the cornerstone of their existence. They should trade in their tri-corner hats for yodeler caps.
> Every congressional committee that writes laws should include a randomly-chosen panel of ordinary citizens. A law can only be voted out of committee when this panel can accurately explain it to their friends in a bar on a Saturday night.
> If they were really serious about making a show of unity, Republicans and Democrats would pair off and sit on each other's laps during the State of the Union speech. The Supremes would snuggle with the generals, and Biden would follow the president's speech by reading a night-night story to Boehner. Make it pay-per-view and we'd erase the deficit in a day.
> Ophiucus is 2011's vuvuzela.
> I saw a prominent banner ad on a conservative blog that displayed a bunch of books by Limbaugh, Beck, Coulter, Ingraham, Levin and Malkin. The headline: 3 Conservative Books for $1 Each. Screw that---I never pay full price.
> Due to the new austerity measures, bronze, silver and gold medals at the 2012 Olympics in London will be replaced with bronze, silver and gold spray-painted kippers.
> The first thing I'm gonna do when I get to Minneapolis for Netroots Nation in June is go to the corner of West 7th Street and Nicollet Mall and throw my hat in the air.
> To help promote civility in America I will continue to give Republicans noogies, but from now on I'll categorize them as "playful."
> Give a cat a fish and you feed her for a day. Teach a cat to fish the can opener out of the drawer and open her 9 Lives by herself and you weasel your way out of a daily chore for the rest of her lifetime.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Note: You know the real reason why there's only one pair of footprints in the sand now? Jesus got a jetpack from his dad for Christmas.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Valentine's Day: 26
Days `til the 7th annual Pies on Parade Pie Tour in Rockland, Maine: 4
Estimated annual reduction in carbon dioxide emissions by 2020 because of higher vehicle fuel economy: 400 billion pounds
Number of vehicles you'd have to take off the road to equal that much: 32 million
(Source: Natural Resources Defense Council via AP)
Approximate salary of a merger banker with 10 years experience: $2 million
Approximate salary of a neurosurgeon with 10 years experience: $600,000
(Source: Bloomberg News)
Approximate year the Mackinlays whisky recently discovered under explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton's hut in Antarctica was distilled: 1896 or 1897
(Source: NPR)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 172 (including 5 Debt and Trades and 1 excellent question). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day (hat tip to UTvoter): One word that comes to my mind looking at this photo (which most other sites have severely cropped) by Vanderlei Almeida: Pulitzer.
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CHEERS to lawmakers and "Ta Ta!" makers. Some U.S. senators are announcing their 2012 intentions already, and here are the results so far: Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) is out. Kent Conrad (D-ND) is out. Flaming liberal (compared to the rest of his party) Dick Lugar (R-IN) is in and rarin' to take on the teabaggers. And Joe Lieberman, that frustrating turncoat wrapped in weasel skin, is...out. It is not my wish to utterly despise anyone, which is why I'm so thankful that the 'Don't ask, don’t tell' vote was successful last month. Lieberman fought tooth and nail for that. He led the charge with an eyebrow-raising focus and tenacity. And by legitimizing the service of out gays and lesbians in our military, he broke a federal logjam and laid the foundation for future GLBT victories in the civilian sector. That makes him, despite all his backstabbing and flip-flopping, a civil rights trailblazer. And having said that, let me just say about his departure: Woohoo!!!
CHEERS to the legacy of Sargent Shriver. The first head of the Peace Corps, the first head of the Special Olympics, Ambassador to France, first head of the Office of Economic Opportunity, George McGovern's running mate in '72, founder of Head Start, and JFK's brother in law. That's just unreal! Any normal human being would be over the moon to achieve one of those things. Shriver---a walking billboard for the spirit of the Democratic party---died yesterday at 95. President Obama:
"His loss will be felt in all of the communities around the world that have been touched by Peace Corps volunteers over the past half century and all of the lives that have been made better by his efforts to address inequality and injustice here at home.''
Senator John Kerry said few Americans touched as many lives as Mr. Shriver. "He helped millions of Americans seize a sense of almost infinite possibilities, and he brought the promise of America into countless corners around the globe,'' Kerry said. "He was an extraordinary man and an extraordinary public servant who never lost the idealism that grand achievements were a question of willpower, not capacity."
Said Shriver: "It's the most rewarding thing to be a civil servant." And it showed.
CHEERS to good spelling. On this date in 1955, Scrabble made its debut. The highest scoring word, if you've ever wondered, is "Sesquioxidizing," which can earn you 2,044 points. Plus some really dirty looks from the other players, you fucking showoff.
JEERS to a close call. The FBI says a suspicious package turned out to be the kind of suspicious package you hope never turns out to be the kind of suspicious package this suspicious package turned out to be. The bomb was discovered near the route of the city's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day parade, and the term "domestic terrorism" was quickly attached to the case. Meanwhile, what was thought to be another bomb turned up in a backpack a couple miles away. Fortunately it was just a bootleg copy of Little Fockers.
JEERS to really bad political theatre. Hey, kids, guess what time it is? It's amateur hour for Republicans in the House!!! Yes, the Party of No has begun their mad dash to repeal the Affordable Care Act that Americans are viewing with increasing approval. This has been said a thousand times, and here it for the 1001st: they'll have the votes to pass it, but then it'll go to the Senate, where it'll be tossed in the janitor's closet with the mops, brooms and David Vitter's diaper changing station. House Democrats, meanwhile, are seizing the moment to remind Americans what's in the bill and how its repeal would yank provisions that are becoming quite popular. We've won the first skirmish of the 112th Congress already. Well done.
CHEERS to the original "spokes" men---Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! On January 19, 1903, it was announced with great fanfare that the starting gun for a new bicycle race called the "Tour de France" would be fired that July. The grand prize: 3,000 francs and a lifetime supply of jumbo butt pillows.
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Five years ago in C&J: January 19, 2006
JEERS to Bamboozlepalooza. Those shady Republicans are at it again. House Speaker Dennis "Can You Ladle More Fudge Sauce On That, Miss?" Hastert has proposed shiny happy new ethics rules that he says would prevent undue influence from lobbyists. With one teensy weensy caveat:
According to lobbyists and ethics experts, even if Hastert's proposal is enacted, members of Congress and their staffs could still travel the world on an interest group's expense and eat steak on a lobbyist's account at the priciest restaurants in Washington. The only requirement would be that whenever a lobbyist pays the bill, he or she must also hand the lawmaker a campaign contribution. Then the transaction would be perfectly okay.
Now you know why these guys are only comfortable passing bills in the middle of the night
CHEERS to a good decision. Yesterday the Supreme Court rightly upheld an Oregon law that gives terminally ill patients the right to end their lives on their own terms. The three dissenters: Scalia, Thomas and Roberts. Hardly surprising. The defendants didn't have "Inc." or "LLC" after their names.
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And just one more...
CHEERS (oh, why not?) to The Great Distraction. The 10th season of American Idol premieres tonight---new judges (Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler), new contestants, and a new opportunity for Randy Jackson to set a new record for saying "Yo, dawg." I can't name a single "official" past winner, but I know who my own all-time champ is: civil rights activist General Larry Platt and his 2010 rallying cry for disgruntled old people, Pants on the Ground. Francis Scott Key, eat yer heart out.
Have a nice Wednesday. Stay classy! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Bill in Portland Maine should stop talking now."
---David Frum
1/17/11
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