It has been exactly one year since I've seen my friend and fallen marine Brian M.
One year since he was shipped off to Iraq...and almost 5 months since his death.
He was part of the sniper team of the 3rd battalion, 25th Marines that were ambushed and killed in Haditha back in August.
While the wounds have begun healing in this community, the scabs still remain.
Brian's wife is a regular at the bar I work at. She visits frequently, and drinks heavily.
The more she drinks, the clearer the pain seeps through her facade of fake smiles and false bravado.
By the end of the night she is often sobbing. It is painful to watch. The woman needs obvious help and counseling.
The woman is still deeply set in her beliefs.
She still strongly believes in the war...that the war is a necessary and effective way to combat terrorism and keep us safe.
Well, the other night she got extremely drunk. She was telling complete strangers at the bar about her husband's death. She was telling them that on the internet you can find video of her husband being ambushed and murdered, going so far as to writing down the URL of the videos.
The people tried to be nice and understanding, but were visibly disturbed over the awkwardness of the situation.
Then some other customers...a couple that was not in the conversation...was talking about something unrelated, laughing and joking around.
The drunken widow saw them laughing and freaked out on them.
She was screaming across the bar.
"Where's your fucking respect? My husband died for you! He died for your freedom! You think it's funny?"
And went on and on and on. Our manager had to eventually kick her out, as hard as it was. This got her going even more.
"Fuck this place! I will never come here again! I thought you guys were my friends!"
The whole night was deeply disturbing for everyone who was there. We were all coworkers and friends with Brian.
The incident made me wonder about how many times this takes place across the country.
While we can all try to bury the past, for many it's impossible.
Every time a soldier dies, the after shock of the death is felt, for weeks...months...years.
The deaths would be easier to take if the sacrifice had more meaning.
By occupying Iraq, all we are doing is creating a breeding ground for terrorism, and at the same time committing it... every time one of our bombs or bullets kill an innocent civilian.
Iraq is a total fucking disaster.
We can't even reconstruct the country.
3 years after the initial invasion, and buildings are still destroyed. Electricity is extremely scarce. Water comes and goes for days at a time. Telephone lines are totally unreliable. Oil production is lower than pre-war levels. Iraqis hear about the billions spent...one billion for security...one billion for the infrastructure...tens of millions for voting...and the whole time Iraq falling into deeper and deeper debt. People denied jobs because they are not a part of a certain religious group or political party.
All we are doing is causing human suffering throughout the middle east, and uniting most of them against us.
We are locked in this perpetual "War on Terror," in which there are no identifiable victories. How do you measure victory?
I would say that a "war on terror's" main goal should be to reduce terrorism. It seems this is the polar opposite of what is happening.
If you wanted to create a plan to increase and encourage terrorism, you could not do a better job than we have done with our foreign policies and in Iraq.
Tommorow I will see my fallen friend's infant son.
One day I will tell him stories about his dad.
I will tell him that his father died for a good cause.
I will be lying.