While you are in midst of running around finding Easter eggs and extra deductions this weekend during the weird hybrid of tax filing deadlines and the resurrection of Christ, don't feel too bad for yourself.
After all, you could be Dick Cheney.
Now is the time of year I feel sorry for ole Dick. After all, he's had a pretty rough year. Shooting a lawyer and all that. And now,
we come to find out that Dick is getting back, AS A REFUND, a piddly $1.9 million on his taxes.
The White House also released the 2005 tax return filed by Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne. According to the return, the Cheneys have overpaid their taxes this year and are entitled to a refund of about $1.9 million. Their adjusted gross income was about $8.82 million.
Seriously, only $1.9 mil? Not two?
Well, ladies and gents, I've had a chance to review the Vice President's tax returns, and there's some fishy in the state of Denmark. Or the state of Texas. Or Wyoming. Or wherever the hell Cheney calls home.
Seems like there is an awful lot of shady deductions for "business expenses" going on in Dick's Schedule A.
Here are some of the highlights:
$250,000 for wardrobe for official functions:
$75,000 for small arms (particularly for fundraising hunting trips):
$150,000,000,000 for LARGE arms (related to his official duties of keeping the Axis of Evil in line)
$15,000 for "jock lessons" (next time, Dubya's doing his own dirty work)
$50,000 for factfinding missions (aaaahhhh...the Gulf was wonderful that time of year)
$400,000 for clinical treatment of "job related stress"
and $225,000 in business related "staffing costs" (written off as a business loss)
So, I'm thinking the IRS needs to look really, REALLY hard at Mr. Cheney's tax refund.
Then again, we already know Dick's response to an audit: