Brace yourself for this extraordinary heaping of bullshit, courtesy of the Politico's Molly Ball:
Charlotte residents were ecstatic to hear this week that their city was selected to host the Democratic convention. But there was one line in the e-mail announcement from First Lady Michelle Obama that made locals say, "Huh?"
In listing Charlotte's many virtues, Obama named southern charm, hospitality, diversity — "And of course, great barbecue."
That was news to residents, who know that North Carolina's best barbecue lies farther afield. "We appreciate the compliments, and they're all spot-on until that last one," the editorial board of the Charlotte Observer newspaper wrote in a blog post titled, "Charlotte = great barbecue? Who knew?"
"Everybody knows to get the best stuff, you gotta drive north to Lexington," the board added [...]
The gaffe was enough to make you wonder whether the White House had simply cut and pasted Southern clichés to create the first lady's announcement.
Nevermind that Michelle Obama, in that press release, didn't actually claim that Charlotte had the "best" BBQ, just that it had "great" BBQ. But who cares? Saying that a place has "great" anything is horrible and a gaffe unless ... that place has the best of that something. Got it?
So please stop saying Chicago has great pizza, or New York. Because until someone adjudicates that battle and decides who has the best, neither city can lay claim to "great" pizza. Apparently, the two options are "the best", and "kind of disappointing, just not that good at all." Anything else, and it's a "gaffe".
You know who else has made this gaffe? The 2011 Charlotte Official Visitor's Guide:
"My favorite Charlotte event has to be Time Warner Cable BBQ & Blues! [Sept. 9-10] It’s the best of a Carolina tradition with great BBQ, music and fun for everyone to enjoy right in the middle of Uptown Charlotte."
Gaffe! Also:
Barbecue is a non-negotiable must-have in North Carolina, so stop by Mac’s Speed Shop for a taste of some Southern favorites including pulled pork, ribs, chili, Brunswick stew, and Mac’s own delectable mac n’ cheese. Half biker bar and half restaurant, this spot has earned a tasty reputation. Connoisseurs like renowned chef Mario Batali and Rick Browne of TV’s "Barbecue America" are big fans.
What the hell does Barbecue America know about great BBQ? Nothing, if they claim you can find it in Charlotte! More gaffes!
So thanks, Politico! Thanks to you, I now know that Charlotte is a BBQ dead zone, without a single great BBQ establishment. Anyone that claims otherwise is a gaffe-prone moron.
The 2012 cycle is upon us, and it's only going to go downhill from here.
p.s. Chicago has the best pizza.
p.p.s. How many comments before a Texan and a Kansas City resident chime in to claim that their BBQ is the best?
p.p.p.s. I'm vegetarian, so I don't care about BBQ.