It's Just Politics, or How Tennessee Democrats Learned to Stop Worrying and Elect a Republican

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Thursday August 10, 2006 · 1:40 PM PDT

2006/08/10 · 13:40

Warning: The following post contains personal therapy material. Do not continue reading if you are pregnant or nursing, have back or neck problems, are under 18 chronologically or developmentally, or if you believe that the Democratic Party is really out for your best interest.

As some of you know and even fewer of you care, I've been involved in a progressive Democrat's congressional campaign for about four months. My candidate's primary was a week ago, and though he was ahead in the early returns, the late returns put his opponent over the top with a 51% to 49% win. Around 700 votes separated the two when it was all said and done. Read More

Terry Stulce, Fighting Dem for U. S. Congress TN03

abbytaylor

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Wednesday April 19, 2006 · 10:30 PM PDT

2006/04/19 · 22:30

Terry Stulce is one of the Fighting Dems running for US Congress. Terry's running in the 3rd District of Tennessee against a long time Republican incumbent, Zach Wamp. Twelve years ago when Wamp was first elected, he pledged as part of the "Contract with America" to limit his terms to six. Guess what? As of this election in 2006... he's running for a seventh term.

Check out Terry's website. There are links for contributions, volunteers, and endorsements.

If you have a blog or website and are willing and able to grab one of Terry's website banners (see the Downloads link), we'd be very grateful for the publicity!

Terry Stulce for Congress

The Play's the Thing...

abbytaylor

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Saturday December 17, 2005 · 10:02 AM PST

2005/12/17 · 10:02

The curtain rises, revealing a stage crowded with people rushing about, some carrying crosses, some carrying protest signs, many shouting, everyone looking either angry or worried. Read More

Humor Gene Detected, Found Defective in 88.2% of Liberals (Satire)

abbytaylor

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Monday November 14, 2005 · 8:33 PM PST

2005/11/14 · 20:33

In next month's issue of the scientific jounal Nature, researchers at Cornell University report the discovery of the genetic underpinnings of humor in humans.

Dr. Joel Briggs, professor of genetic biology at Cornell and lead researcher on this study, stated, "Unraveling the genetic markers for humor will help us understand many things about the human personality. -- why certain individuals can use laughter to bolster their immune systems, or why others are unable to see humor in stressful situations, or why certain children are unable to pick up on social cues related to humor." Dr. Briggs also reported a related finding: The genetic markers for humor were found to be defective in 88.2 percent of liberals in the United States.

This finding immediately polarized the American scientific community, with the more conservative scholars releasing a statement lauding the work. A formal response from the liberal contingent has been delayed pending a committee's report on the resolution of the dilemma of expressing outrage without further proving the point of the study. Read More

Theory of Intelligent Destruction (Satire)

abbytaylor

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Thursday November 10, 2005 · 5:44 PM PST

2005/11/10 · 17:44

Today in an unprecedented move, President Bush withdrew $7.1 billion in funding previously allocated for the United States Department of Health and Human Services to prepare for an Avian Flu pandemic.

"After being briefed by science teachers from Kansas and professors at Bob Jones University, it is clear that money should be used for purposes other than Avian Flu," stated President Bush in a press conference from the White House.

When asked for the reason behind the drastic withdrawal of healthcare funds... Read More

Scooter Libbyrotica (Explicit)

abbytaylor

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Friday November 04, 2005 · 7:47 AM PST

2005/11/04 · 07:47

A friend sent us a link from the New Yorker which permanently changed us all. Cynikell realized she needed to shower immediately and curl into a fetal position. Mark realized for the first time in his adult life, he had no comment.

I realized I think I dated Scooter Libby.

Now, dear reader, if you are offended by graphic sexual descriptions, I have two things to say to you. First, you are probably reading this by mistake anyway. Second, you probably should move on, because I'm about to bring down the house. Read More

Bush Prepares (Satire, Sort Of)

abbytaylor

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Saturday October 29, 2005 · 8:08 PM PDT

2005/10/29 · 20:08

To: George W. Bush, President of the United States of America

From: Harriet Miers, White House Counsel

Re: Presidential Pardon Forms

abbytaylor

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Sunday October 23, 2005 · 8:21 PM PDT

2005/10/23 · 20:21

In a press conference today from the White House Rose Garden, President Bush announced the appointment of Juan Hernandez, his personal landscaper and lawn man, as the Natural Spring Water Czar.

"Evian Flu poses a grave risk as a national health emergency, and there is also concern the Evian flu virus will mutate and jump. I'm committed to keeping on top of this so that our bottled-water-drinking citizens, especially the children and elderly, are protected."

When asked if he meant "Avian" flu, the President smiled and said, "Now you know I'm from Texas, we pronounce things diff'rnt." Read More

DeLay: From Hammer to Hummer (Satire)

abbytaylor

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Thursday October 20, 2005 · 8:07 PM PDT

2005/10/20 · 20:07

A Texas court issued an arrest warrant for Republican Tom DeLay on money laundering and conspiracy charges. But what was initially expected to be just a routine step took a surprising turn for the dramatic.

At the time of his arrest in Texas DeLay appeared unkempt and disheveled, but he remained defiant as he carried a copy of the Bible, the holy scripture of his Christian faith.

When asked his name, DeLay refused to answer directly, instead adamantly insisting he was "The Rightful and Lawful Leader of the United States House Majority." Read More

So THIS is Why Judith Miller Stayed in Prison! (Satire)

abbytaylor

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Friday September 30, 2005 · 8:55 AM PDT

2005/09/30 · 08:55

Reality-show producer extraordinaire Mark Burnett announced today that next season's hit NBC show The Apprentice will be headed by recently jailed New York Times reporter Judith Miller.

An NBC press release quotes Mr. Burnett: "We believe Ms. Miller's vast experience can be very valuable to young journalists. True, she is not a multimillionaire, but today she is perhaps the most high profile journalist in the country, if not in the world. Plus she has undoubtedly recently experienced many, many things in prison we can only imagine."

A high-ranking confidential source close to Mr. Burnett disclosed, "Anonymous surveys indicate yes, viewers like learning about the business models, but they continue to watch each week wondering if Martha Stewart got any girl on girl action while in prison. Judy Miller should draw on that same demographic, and well, if he ever got Judy and Martha in the same room on the same show to share prison stories, man oh man that'd probably blow the ratings right out the roof." Read More

Mike Brown's Play of the Day: Punt! (Satire)

abbytaylor

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Thursday September 29, 2005 · 7:39 AM PDT

2005/09/29 · 07:39

On Tuesday, former FEMA-director turned FEMA-consultant Mike Brown appeared before Congress in the investigation of failures during the Hurricane Katrina response. Brown did not accept responsibility for the problems with the federal response, instead blaming New Orleans Mayor Nagin, Louisiana governor Blanco, and the Bush White House for the failures.

But in a statement that surprised lawmakers, Brown did accept full and complete responsibility for the recent 30-27 overtime football defeat of LSU by the University of Tennessee. Read More

NASA Unveils Shuttle Replacement (Satire)

abbytaylor

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Tuesday September 27, 2005 · 9:26 PM PDT

2005/09/27 · 21:26

NASA Administrator Michael Griffin rolled out NASA's plan for the future last week, including new details about the spaceship intended to replace the shuttle and a timeline for returning astronauts to the moon in 2018. Answering critics of the space shuttle design flaws, Griffith announced a "back to basics" approach in which the astronauts will travel to the moon in a 1957 Buick.

Griffith said the "back to basics" '57 Buick has a number of features ideal for the NASA of the Bush administration. "This new spacecraft has a very reasonable price tag of $8,500. It is a symbol of traditional family values. And it gets slightly better gas mileage than the current space shuttle." Read More

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