The Book of Romney

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Wednesday January 11, 2012 · 10:45 AM PST

2012/01/11 · 10:45

Happy Syphilis Day

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Monday October 11, 2010 · 9:06 AM PDT

2010/10/11 · 09:06

Wishing everyone a happy Syphilis Day (formerly known as Columbus Day). There's no better time to revisit New Faces of 1492, our animated short which dares to tell the truth about Christopher Columbus -- schmuck.

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Wednesday March 03, 2010 · 6:35 PM PST

2010/03/03 · 18:35

Rep. Patrick McHenry (R - North Carolina) has made some news this week by reviving a familiar Republican dream: Putting Ronald Reagan's face on U.S. currency. In the past, some conservatives have suggested using Reagan's visage in place of Roosevelt's (on the dime), Hamilton's (on the ten dollar bill), or Jackson's (on the twenty). McHenry wants to evict Ulysses S. Grant from the fifty and put Reagan there. It is somewhat appropriate to have Reagan's face on our money. When we wonder why the American dollar is now worthless, we can take out a fifty (if we have one) and get our answer. Reagan will not appear on money anytime soon. But because Republicans so badly want to put his face on something, I have some suggestions.

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Friday January 08, 2010 · 8:44 AM PST

2010/01/08 · 08:44

In order to keep up with the crazy things they say, I subscribe to the e-mail list of Human Events, a clearinghouse for right-wing bluster. Painful though it may be, I read all of their e-mails, and occasionally report on my disturbing findings (examples here and here).

But these adventures did nothing to prepare me for the Parents Television Council, a conservative morality-in-media group famous for its hysterical fear of Janet Jackson's nipple. The PTC also caught my attention a while back when it claimed that "millions of families" were "offended" and "assaulted" by Jane Fonda's accidental use of the word cunt on Good Morning America. (Fonda, if you're wondering, used the word properly, in a conversation about the play The Vagina Monologues.) I wrote to the PTC to report some other lapses in taste which I thought might interest them, and since then I've contacted them occasionally. Today, I bring you the latest.

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Thursday December 10, 2009 · 8:44 AM PST

2009/12/10 · 08:44

As you know, this month is the culmination of our major combat operations in the War on Christmas, and I'm pleased to report that our side is winning. The enemy thinks it's winning, which means we've got them right where we want them -- too strung out on eggnog and yuletide cheer to notice that this year, there shall be no Christmas!

I want to thank everyone who's used the phrase "Happy Holidays" -- which as everyone knows is one of the most insulting things you could possibly say to someone. It is said that every time someone says "Happy Holidays," one of Santa's elves experiences a cerebral hemorrhage. Keep it up!

I also want to congratulate those who have waged war on Christmas by including such symbols as Hanukkah menorahs and Kwanzaa kinaras in their storefront windows and other public displays. Inclusiveness is to Christmas as Kryptonite is to Superman, and our generals are confident that it will only take a few more menorahs and kinaras, prominently showcased, to obliterate the last traces of Christmas.

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Tuesday September 29, 2009 · 7:02 AM PDT

2009/09/29 · 07:02

The political waters are increasingly muddy these days, but one thing that's never been clearer is our dire need to get the money out of politics. The public health care option -- which we thought was the compromise -- is in serious jeopardy, largely because one conservative Democratic Senator from Montana has received a lot of campaign money from insurance companies.

Between the health care "debate" and the Supreme Court's impending ruling on Hillary: The Movie (a political attack ad disguised as a documentary), the subject of corporate personhood has been in the news a lot lately, and it is with this in mind that we present our new music video.

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Friday August 07, 2009 · 9:25 AM PDT

2009/08/07 · 09:25

One morning, as Rush Limbaugh was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that he was the last Republican left in the United States.

He supposed it was inevitable. Ever since the 2006 midterms, conservatism had been on the decline. Rush knew that at some point he would be its only remaining adherent. Now that it was so, he decided to put on a brave face and accept his status as the last of the dinosaurs.

Curiously enough, his greatest fear was not realized; he was still in demand, still listened to. True, his radio audience had dwindled dramatically, since there was no longer a conservative base. But there were plenty of liberals (i.e., Americans) stricken with morbid curiosity, and they did tune in, in significant numbers, like visitors to a museum. "It's hard to believe some people used to live like this," they'd say.

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Friday July 24, 2009 · 9:49 AM PDT

2009/07/24 · 09:49

"The Cambridge police acted stupidly," President Obama said, in response to the last question in Wednesday's press conference.

It's turned out to be a controversial statement -- though there's no reason why it should be. The Cambridge police did act stupidly, and they continue to: Stephen Killion, president of the Cambridge Police Patrol Officer's Association, said yesterday, of Obama, "I am disgraced that he is our commander-in-chief." Actually, Killion is disgraced by the behavior of Sgt. James Crowley, who acted stupidly when he arrested a world-renowned academic who walks with a cane, for the egregious crime of being black in his own house. Killion says the president "smeared the good reputation" of the Cambridge Police Department. Wrong again -- it's Crowley who damaged the reputation of the department, by wrongfully arresting Professor Henry Louis Gates.

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Friday July 10, 2009 · 7:11 AM PDT

2009/07/10 · 07:11

Yesterday was the first White House meeting of the president's revamped Office of Faith-Based Initiatives.

Needless to say, I was not happy when news broke, six months ago, that Obama would be retaining -- and even expanding -- this Bush-created office. But, to the administration's credit, the meeting (led by office director Joshua DuBois) centered not on promoting Judeo-Christian blah blah blah but on respecting the wall between church and state. They discussed funding restrictions for religious groups, establishing programs which equally benefit Americans of any faith or no faith, and how to handle 501(c)(3) groups founded by religious organizations to avoid separation issues.

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Thursday July 09, 2009 · 5:18 AM PDT

2009/07/09 · 05:18

President Obama has been in office for six months, and speculation about his 2012 Republican challenger has been going on for just as long. But with star Republicans abruptly resigning or hiking the Appalachian Trail to Argentina, there just aren't that many left to speculate about. I guess this explains the bizarre flurry of recent attention paid to Jeb Bush. The apparent rationale is that if the Democrats could elect someone named Obama, maybe the Republicans can elect someone named Bush.

Tucker Carlson's new Esquire interview finds brother Jeb "relatively optimistic" about his party's future, but he doesn't explain that. Relative to what? Is he saying he's more optimistic than other Republicans? Or more optimistic than usual? Or does he just have no idea what he's saying?

nerofiddled

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Wednesday July 08, 2009 · 7:37 AM PDT

2009/07/08 · 07:37

The resignation of Sarah Palin has been a wonderful thing in many respects -- none more wonderful than the strong likelihood that she's finished in politics. But another nice thing about it is that CNN and MSNBC briefly took a break from their new joint status as the Michael Jackson Channel.

Rachel Maddow, back on the air and in fine form, aptly summed up the apparent message of Palin's resignation speech (and multiple interviews while fishing yesterday): "Only quitters stay in their jobs. Only fighters have the courage to quit before the job is done."

Palin's chief complaint -- "Every time we do something we get hit with an ethics violation" -- is almost as funny as Nero Fiddled's new video The Sarah Palin Show with Sarah Palin.

RSS

The Book of Romney

Happy Syphilis Day

Places to Put Reagan's Face

The PTC: Masturbating a Horse

War on Christmas Update

Corporations Are People Too

The Last Republican

Racism and Acting Stupidly

Enough Already with the God Stuff

A Desperate Party Turns to Jeb?

The Sarah Palin Show with Sarah Palin