From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
Today is the civil rights titan's 89th birthday, and also his official holiday. Once again we're thankful, and rather awestruck, by what he accomplished for black America---and, simultaneously, all of America---in his way-too-short life. He was flawed, as all humans are. But he had that stubborn 'ol dream. And come hell or high water (or fire hoses or guns or nightsticks or jail time or whatever else the bigots could throw at the movement) he refused to shut up and sit down, or match violence with violence. This is good stuff...
“Let us build bridges, not walls.”
"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom."
"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character---that is the goal of true education."
“There is little hope for us until we become tough-minded enough to break loose from the shackles of prejudice, half-truths, and downright ignorance.”
"Morals can’t be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. The law cannot make an employer love me, but it can keep him from refusing to hire me because of the color my skin."
"When evil men plot, good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love. Where evil men would seek to perpetuate an unjust status quo, good men must seek to bring a real order of justice."
“Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.”
“All we say to America is to be true to what you said on paper. If I lived in China or even Russia, or any totalitarian country, maybe I could understand...the denial of certain basic First Amendment privileges, because they haven't committed themselves to that over there. But somewhere I read of the freedom of assembly. Somewhere I read of the freedom of speech. Somewhere I read of the freedom of press. Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for right.”
As fate would have it, King and I coexisted on this tiny blue speck in the middle of nowhere, if only for three-and-a-half years. The older I get the cooler that fact gets. So I’m retroactively putting it on my bucket list. Sue me.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 15, 2018
Note: I admit it. I have a major alcohol problem. I’m having trouble prying the cap off the ripple this morning.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Republicans let the government run out of money: 4
Days 'til the Oregon Truffle Festival in Eugene: 10
Confirmed cases of the flu in Maine, which is now classified as “widespread” in all 16 counties, as of Jan. 6: 768
Percent of Maine flu cases that required hospitalization last year and this year, respectively: 14%, 27%
Percent chance that Willie Nelson had to cancel some concerts because he has the flu, but will “be fine” according to his publicist: 100%
Number of U.S. coastal states that were granted a special “Get Out Of Offshore Drilling Free” card by Trump, for purely political reasons, after he’d opened them all up to drilling: 1 (Florida)
Increase in holiday spending, according to the National Retail Federation: 5.5%
Totally Random NFL Score
Minnesota Vikings 29 New Orleans Saints 24
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved!!!
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CHEERS to a seamless changing of the guard. “Is there a doctor in the statehouse? Is there a doctor in the statehouse?” Why, yes…yes there is! The weather in Richmond was chilly but otherwise just fine Saturday for the passing of the torch from Terry McAuliffe to Dr. Ralph Northam, who officially became Virginny’s 73rd governor in a critical swing state, opposed only by the thinnest-possible GOP majorities in the Senate and House of Delegates:
In his 20-minute inaugural speech, Northam recalled his time spent on the waters of the Chesapeake Bay while growing up on the Eastern Shore and his father’s advice to trust his compass if “things get dark or foggy.” Northam said he began following a “different kind of compass” through the honor code of the Virginia Military Institute, his alma mater, where cadets are sworn to never “lie, cheat, steal, nor tolerate those who do.”
With members of the General Assembly listening in the audience, Northam called for reducing gun violence by enacting universal background checks on gun sales, protecting a woman’s “constitutional right to make her own decisions about her health” and taking steps to improve the state’s “uneven” economic picture.
Chief among the tasks ahead, Northam said, is Medicaid expansion, the long-sought but unrealized policy objective for Virginia Democrats that would provide health coverage to an estimated 400,000 low-income Virginians.
Also sworn in: Lt. Governor Justin Fairfax (the second African-American elected to statewide office after Gov. Douglas Wilder in 1989) and Attorney General Mark Herring (who followed up his 160-vote squeaker in 2013 with a more decisive 160,000-vote win last year). Up next: the disastrous Chris Christie era finally gets encased in cement and unceremoniously dumped off a pier tomorrow as Democrat Phil Murphy takes the governor’s oath, backed by a 25-15 majority in the state Senate and a 54-26 majority in the House. Murphy’s first act when he moves into the office vacated by Christie: draining a can of Lysol on his chair.
CHEERS to putting a phony preacher in his place. For reasons that escape me, MSNBC host Joy Reid enjoys sparring with some ignorant Trump-loving pastor named Mark Burns. I usually turn the sound off because it’s just a bunch of cross-talk. After soundly kicking his hypocritical ass over Trump’s “shithole” comments about Haiti Saturday morning, Burns decided to post a video rant as his car sped away that basically amounted to “If you love Haiti so much why don’t you move there?” Joy got wind of it during a commercial break and came back with this perfect, off-the-cuff rebuke:
We’ll file this under, “Don’t bring a The Art of the Deal to a Holy Bible fight.”
JEERS to today’s boring correction. Hey, kids! Wondering what life was like in the U.S. of A. during the good old days that Republicans want to take us back to? Well, wonder no more! That day has arrived and if you were in Hawaii Saturday, you now know it involves a lot of kissing the cement on your basement floor…
An incoming missile alert plunged residents of Hawaii into panic on Saturday morning before it was declared to be false.
Mobile phone users received a message saying: "Ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill."
State Governor David Ige apologised to Hawaiians, saying an employee had pressed the wrong button. [...]
An alert system is in place because of the potential proximity of Hawaii to North Korean missiles. In December, the state tested its nuclear warning siren for the first time since the end of the Cold War.
This is just one example of how Trump is bringing families together. Thanks to his mushroom cloud-oriented foreign policy, everyone in the clan can shit their pants together.
JEERS to having to take a close-up look inside a real shithole. A heavy-duty helicopter hauled Trump’s bloated carcass to Walter Reed Army Medical Center on Friday for the first checkup of his life by a doctor who isn’t a certified weirdo. Apart from chronic bigotry, xenophobia, paranoia, dishonesty, cowardice, sexism, memory loss, homophobia, bathmophobia, mysophobia, toxiphobia, incontinence, hair loss and the vocabulary of a nine-year-old, along with an acute case of adultery and un-treatable malignant narcissism, he’s A-OK! Bonus: doctors say those pesky heel spurs apparently disappeared around the end of the Vietnam War. Hooray---lollipops for everyone!
JEERS to the “kumbaya caucus.” Where does the time go? It was five years ago this week when No Labels 2.0 launched with a BIG HAPPY MEETING in New York. The goal of the organization, of course, is to bring liberals and conservatives together in a happy circle of effortless getting-alongness. My problem---besides knowing that “far left” Democrats believe in policies the vast majorities of the public believe in, while the “far right” is a Nazi-KKK slumber party---is that the head of the group, Mark McKinnon, is a former W. Bushie, and the No Labels co-chairs are Republican Jon Huntsman from red state Utah and Republican senator with a "D" after his name, Joe Manchin, from red state West Virginia. But maybe, just maybe, I was wrong about them and maybe, just maybe, they’ve accomplished a ton in the last five years! So I went to their site and clicked on their “Victories” tab. There may, in fact, be some victories in there, but I couldn’t see them because the cobwebs were too thick. We’ll check back in five more years. Until then, I’m sticking with my own label for the new No Labels: no sale.
JEERS to accidents waiting to happen. Gee, what could go wrong?
General Motors says it is ready to mass-produce a self-driving car that has no steering wheel, pedals or any other manual controls.
The car company said Friday that it has filed a petition with the Department of Transportation for the fourth-generation Cruise AV to hit the streets in 2019.
GM maintains that the car "will comply with federal safety laws;" the petition is asking for a waiver for laws that it cannot meet "because they are human-driver-based-requirements." For example: "A car without a steering wheel can't have a steering wheel airbag," as GM President Dan Ammann told The Verge.
GM says it plans to market the vehicles with no steering wheels and no pedals and no way to stop on a dime to a special segment of the car-buying market: people with no brains.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 15, 2008
JEERS to the leader of the free world. While President Bush is overseas checkin' up on his oil, selling missiles to the Saudis by the billions, and taking part in the most awkward photo-ops since Calvin Coolidge wore an Indian headdress, the rest of the world continues to despise the guy. According to a new Harris Interactive survey---as reported on The McLaughlin Group Sunday---Bush's approval rating is 8 percent in Italy, 7 percent in Britain, 7 percent in Spain, 5 percent in Germany and 3 percent in France. Meanwhile here in the Land of Applebee's and American idol, the latest CBS News/New York Times poll pegs him at a robust 29 percent. But never fear! His handlers say he'll surge to 45 percent before he leaves office. Because there's nothing like an endless war and a new recession to make a guy lovable.
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And just one more…
Due to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day holiday,
today's "Just One More" feature is closed.
If we catch you climbing over the
Velvet rope, you are
so grounded,
bub.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
A SpaceX Dragon cargo ship loaded with 4,100 pounds of experiment samples, trash and no-longer-needed equipment departed the International Space Station early Saturday and splashed down in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool to close out a 29-day stay in orbit.
---CBS News
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