From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Wit of Will
Today marks the anniversary of Will Rogers' death in a plane crash in Alaska. In 1935 Roosevelt (whom he supported) had only been in office for two years and my parents were still in diapers. Huge Hollywood star, razor-sharp pundit, and one of the best things to come from Oklahoma. Here are some of his observations that ring as true today as they did 80-odd years ago:
"Things will get better, despite our efforts to improve them."
“The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
"Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat."
"You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way."
“If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?”
"There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”
"An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's."
"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
"If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world."
And…
"A fool and his money are soon elected."
A regular Nostradamus, that one. Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Note: My mouthwash says it "fights gingivitis for hours." But if you read the fine print it also says, “then it gives up and wanders off to play frisbee golf.”
-
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Halloween: 77
Days 'til the Blackberry Arts Festival in Coos Bay, Oregon: 10
Minimum number of newspapers thet accepted The Boston Globe’s call to counter Trump’s war on the press with coordinated editorials: 100
Date on which their collective editorials will be published: 8/16/18
Estimated amount the Bush Great Recession cost the average American in lifetime earnings, according to a new study by the Federal Reserve of San Francisco: $70,000
Rank of Jakarta, Indonesia among the fastest-sinking cities in the world, at 25 cm per year: #1
Year by which 95% of Jakarta will be submerged: 2050
-
Mid-week Rapture Index: 181 (including 5 beast governments and 1 Teleportation Jesus). Soul Protection Factor 30 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
-
Puppy Pic of the Day Instant classic: ferret scares dog and then moonwalks away…
-
CHEERS to a rainbow-colored rout. The midterm elections are a referendum on the president. The corporate media won’t tell you that this cycle, mainly because the current president is floundering with the worst approval ratings since Nixon circa summer of ’74, so now the mantra is, “Well, you know midterms are really about local issues, don’tcha know, and ohmigod Democrats don’t have a message!” But the 2018 midterms Are. A. Referendum.On. Donald. Trump. And pissed-off minorities seem especially poised to dole out some pain in the POTUS’ puss:
[B]ased on the findings in a recent National Association for the Advancement of Colored People poll of prospective 2018 midterm voters in 61 of the most competitive congressional races, Trump is so despised by African American voters---as well as, all other voters of color---that it threatens a Blue Wave that could wash away Republican control in the U.S. House of Representatives. [...]
“Our analysis shows President Trump’s racism is a major factor in both why and how people will vote in the midterm elections,” NAACP President Derrick Johnson said in a statement accompanying the release of group’s study. “The poll confirms how Trump’s racism has not only divided the nation and polluted policy, but also serves as a key factor in motivating voters of color to disrupt politics as usual on a national scale.”
Specifically, the poll found that no racial or ethnic group reported majority approval of his administration or policies. … 81 percent of the respondents said they were angry at Trump for something he has said or done.
Well, you know the old saying: “Revenge is a dish best served cold by disenfranchised minorities and their allies when the sitting president constantly refers to them as lowlifes, dogs, low-IQ, rapists, crazed, criminals, very violent, unhinged, sons of bitches, trying to take away our culture, and murderers.” Hey, that would look great on a bumper sticker. Admittedly a very, very long bumper sticker.
P.S. Obama’s White House photographer checks in…
-
CHEERS to HOT primary action…in action! There wasn’t quite the drama in the four states holding candidate-choosing contests last night to match the intensity of last week’s pro-union referendum in Missouri or special congressional election in Ohio’s 12th district, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t any races worth watching---there were many. Here’s a quick rundown of a few notable results:
Vermont History is made as Democrat Christine Hallquist becomes the first transgender gubernatorial candidate of a major party. Oh, and Bernie Sanders lost his primary by 49 points. Ha Ha, April Fool! (I saved that one up for four and a half months and I GOT YA!)
Minnesota Democratic Congressman Tim Waltz (who I met at a Netroots Nation convention and gave advice that he ran with and look where it’s gotten him) won the Democratic primary for governor. He’ll face Republican Tim Pawwwww...wait a minute! We won’t have Tim Pawlenty to kick around again---he lost to that more-conservative Jeff Johnson fella.
Wisconsin Walking hardhat Randy Bryce is officially the Democratic candidate who will try and turn departing Speaker Paul Ryan’s district blue. And state education superintendent Tony Evers will have the honor of finally dislodging human wrecking ball Scott Walker in the governor’s race.
Connecticut In the governor’s race it’ll be Democrat Ned Lamont (the hero who primaried Joe Lieberman out of the Democratic party) versus---[Spins the Big Wheel of Random Thick-Neck Republican Guys]---random thick-neck Republican guy! And in the 5th district, Teacher of the Year Jahana Hayes will be the first black woman elected to the House from New England when she crosses the finish line first in November.
The Daily Kos Elections Team (“The Best In The Business!”) has all the results and analysis here. Next on the primary calendar, slated for August 14th: Wyoming and Alaska. I combined the two states and ran ‘em in through our anagram generator. It spit out a fearless prediction: Koala Gamy wins. I knew ol’ Gamy’s campaign slogan, “A eucalyptus stalk in every pot and a fried-out Kombi in every garage” was pure gold. Pure gold!
CHEERS to VJ Day. Seventy-three years ago, on August 15, 1945, America celebrated the end of the war in the Pacific. Our youngest W.W. II vets are now 90 or older, so today it's our pleasure to slip a nip 'o scotch in their Ensure with a wink and a "thank you"---that was a war that needed to be fought. Meanwhile the Afghanistan war that, lest we forget, President Barack Obama started in 2001 (a lie perpetrated by Katrina Pierson, the White House wacko who is now lecturing Omarosa on the importance of telling the truth) has dragged on thirteen---thirteen!!!---years longer than the Second World War. Not that we're counting. Mainly because we’ve run out of fingers to count on.
JEERS to the white, white, white, white White House. Let’s check in and see how Kellyanne Conway’s coming along in her Herculean effort to name a senior Trump aide who’s black:
Oops. Must be on a potty break.
CHEERS to the Executive Branch Super Friends League! In case you didn’t see this yesterday when C&J goddess Audri posted it in the comments, it’s pretty remarkable. The North Carolina legislature---Republican, with veto-proof majorities---has been doing its damndest to permanently prevent Democrats from ever wielding the majority again. Their last Republican governor---Pat McCrory---was as nutball power-crazy as the General Assembly dwellers, but he lost last year to Democrat Roy Cooper. So now, via ballot referendums, the Legislature is trying to strip Cooper of a huge chunk of his power, limiting his job to cutting ribbons at Piggly Wiggly grand openings and giving tours of the executive mansion. The power grab is so brazen that FIVE ex-governors have circled the wagons around the executive branch:
Former governors Jim Hunt, Mike Easley, Beverly Perdue, Jim Martin and Pat McCrory issued scathing attacks on the two amendments. One amendment would prevent the governor from making thousands of appointments to boards and commissions. The other would limit the governor’s authority to fill judicial vacancies between elections.
The five governors have rarely appeared in public together, and hardly---if ever---as a bipartisan front on an issue. Former Republican Gov. Pat McCrory called it an historical moment, and had this message for legislators: “If any of you want to take on the responsibility of governor, have the courage to run for governor and win,” McCrory said. “Earn it and don’t hijack our constitution, especially through two deceitful and misleading amendments.”
Wow. When you’ve become to extreme for Pat Freaking McCrory…… [Narrator: Billy let his sentence trail off as his brain froze and shut down at the thought. He lived the rest of his days in a special home for political catatonics.]
CHEERS to an artery's best worst friend. On August 15, 1911, obedient and properly submissive American housewives across the country swooned to the sound of Crisco (short for "crystallized cottonseed oil") glopping into their frying pans and mixing bowls as Procter & Gamble brought it to market.
Over a hundred years later, Americans still love it because it lets them enjoy so many sinful foods. And cardiologists love it because it lets them enjoy so many brand-new Porsches.
-
Ten years ago in C&J: August 15, 2008
CHEERS to gellin'. The lineup at the Democratic National Convention seems to be coming along nicely. Some of the highlights (clip and save!):
Monday: Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Obama, Sen. Claire McCaskill, and Michelle Obama's brother, basketball coach Craig Robinson. Video tribute to Ted Kennedy.
Tuesday: Hillary Clinton, Senator-from Virginia-to-be Mark Warner and his dancing chocolate fountain.
Wednesday: Vice presidential candidate Wes Clark (a girl can dream, can't she?)
Thursday: Colorado Governor Bill Ritter, Barack Obama
And Friday from 2am to 2:05am on cable access channel 2: Zell Miller and Joe Lieberman.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to a big pain in Trump’s ass. Happy Birthday, Rep. Maxine Waters, Democrat from the Great State of One Fifth Of The World’s Economy! The most senior of our black members of Congress---and soon to be the chairwoman of the House Financial Services Committee when we flip the House in November---turns 80 years young today. Waters has never been shy about speaking her mind, even going after President Obama on occasion for not focusing on black issues enough. But she saves her biggest barbs for Cadet Bone Spurs, and it’s a pleasure watching her fire her rhetorical arrows with a joyous Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! right where it hurts the most: his ego…
"The most deplorable person I've ever met in my life."
"A bully, an egotistical maniac, a liar and someone who did not need to be President."
"When I get through with Donald Trump, he's going to wish he had been impeached."
“He claims that he's bringing people together but make no mistake, he is a dangerous, unprincipled, divisive, and shameful racist.” … “Trump has made it clear---it is now the White Supremacists' [White] House."
More…
-
For your daily Moments of Maxine, follow her on Twitter here. Happy birthday, Congresswoman. Remind me to never get on your bad side.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Bill in Portland Maine tries to clean up his Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool, creates bigger mess
---Think Progress
-