Now that former special counsel Robert Mueller has agreed to appear in back-to-back hearings before the House Judiciary and Intelligence Committees, Republicans—or, more accurately, the cult of Trump—need to find a response. And the first attempt at how they are going to play this is frankly hilarious. Because the current line is that Robert Mueller appearing in America’s living rooms is going to be great for Trump.
Fox News got the party started with an article headlined “Mueller subpoena could backfire on Democrats, say political, legal experts.” Who were these political and legal hotshots with the hot take? On the political side, it was noted nonpartisan authorities Lindsey Graham, Matt Gaetz, and Mark Meadows. Meadows warned that “Bob Mueller better be prepared," and that the special counsel is going to be “cross-examined for the first time.” Graham went with a repetition of his “case closed.” And Gaetz warned that Democrats were aiming for an “impeachment-by-surprise.” By which he means—honestly, no one knows what he means.
On the legal side, the experts Fox cited included notable will-nutcase-for-clicks Alan Dershowitz, who explained that Mueller “can't refuse to answer questions about the FISA application" that Mueller did not make. And the other big “expert” cited in the Fox News article is … Fox News’ own Geraldo Rivera. It was Rivera who had the biggest, baddest, Al-Capone’s-vault-sized warning for those who dared bring Mueller in to speak, declaring that “this testimony will cost the Democrats,” that it “will be grievous to them," and that they will "rue the day.” Rivera might have also used the word “scalawag,” or possibly “fustilarian,” but if so, it didn’t make the article.
But it’s not just Democrats who have a lot to fear from Mueller’s appearance before the focused glare of sharp-eyed, steel-nerved questioners such as Meadows and Gaetz. It’s Mueller himself. Republicans will take him apart, exposing the “witch hunt” in all its mephistophelian wicked-tude. That’s why Republicans fought so hard to get this … testimony … from … wait? What?
A day on Fox News really is like a day on the farm. A particular kind of farm.
It gets better.
It’s not just that Fox News commentators and their frequent Republican guests are anxious to explain how this appearance from Mueller is Good for John McCain Donald Trump. The peak Fox News experience on this story—so far—has to be the point where Brain Kilmeade declares that Robert Mueller doesn’t know the details of the Mueller report.
According to Kilmeade, Mueller is “like the King of England.” He’s only the figurehead on the deep-state conspiracy that generated the report. Which is perfect, in a very special way.
Please remember, this is only draft one point zero of The Madness of Fox News. There is a lot of opportunity for new, fresh takes between now and July 17.