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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, January 30, 2004
JEERS to SC debate. More of the same...yadda yadda yadda. Why do we have these, again?
CHEERS to Al Sharpton. As usual, delivers best debate line, knocking smug Edwards down a peg: "I'm the son of a man who couldn't be a mill worker because of the color of his skin." Touché.
CHEERS to John McCain. Refusing to roll over for GOP hawks, he calls for independent commission on WMD cluster-you-know-what. Place your bets on how Bush will plot his revenge-related-program-activities against the Senator.
JEERS to the Portland Press Herald. Seven GI's are killed in tragic Afghanistan blast, and Maine's biggest paper buries it on page 6. But hey...check out the full-page SUPER SATURDAY SALE AT FILENES...it's on page, um, 4.
CHEERS to Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Justice raps apathetic public on the knuckles over Patriot Act fears: "On important issues, like the balance between liberty and security, if the public doesn't care, then the security side is going to overweigh the other." I say we should DO something about it. Next week. After the Super Bowl. But not Wednesday `cause the car will be in the shop. And Thursday is bad, too. And Monday is...well, Monday. How about Tuesday from 8:30 `til 9?
CHEERS to the SUPER BOWL! The thrill of victory...the agony of defeat...fumbles and stumbles...glorious surprises...throwing my shoe at the screen...unbearable suspense...and only one will emerge the winner. Oh...isn't there a game or something on between the ads?
JEERS to Martha Stewart. Swaggers into court carrying $6,000 tote bag. That'll generate sympathy from the K-Mart crowd.
JEERS to corporate arrogance. Hey Michael Eisner, you pissed off Pixar (Finding Nemo, Toy Story) so bad that they just ditched you. What are you going to do now? "I'm going to...to...cry."
CHEERS to Dick Martin. You bet your bippy "Laugh-In" is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. That's why today's Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award goes to you, Dick, on your 82nd birthday. (If only Nixon could give us one more "sock it to me?" from the great beyond...).
CHEERS to smart skin. I don't know how, but epidermis adapts well to sub-zero cold. Now 20's feel like a heat wave. Coppertone, anyone?
What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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