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Dispatch from THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE. . .
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, January 8, 2004
CHEERS to Iranian man found alive under quake rubble after---[shakes head in amazement]---13 days. Axis of Evil? Try Axis of Resilience.
JEERS to Bush immigration "reform." Trolling for Hispanic votes, prez plants open-mouth kiss on lawbreakers. Get a room, you pandering perv. Even Tucker Carlson's embarrassed.
JEERS to mindless journalists. "Angry Dean" perception treated as reality by these brain-dead buzzards. I'm so mad I think I'll...donate to the bat again.
CHEERS to Katherine Harris. Wicked Witch of the South to throw pointed hat in ring for senate seat, rouse massive Dem uprising. Wizard Rove fumes behind curtain as Florida slips from red to purple.
CHEERS to Gary Hart. Mulling senate run in Colorado. If anyone's started a "Go Gary Go!" petition, let me know.
JEERS to Iraq War memorial. I was thinking...it's going to have over FIVE HUNDRED NAMES on it. And for what? A bunch of ink sketches. Can't wait `til they find the U.S. spider hole our outrage is hiding in...
CHEERS to Film Score Monthly. Just announced CD release of full score to "Where Eagles Dare." No finer red-blooded WW2 movie music anywhere. "Broadsword to Danny Boy... Broadsword to Danny Boy..."
CHEERS to Maine seagulls. Windchill's 20-below but for them it's literally a day at the beach. C'mere and sit on my frozen feet, Birdie...
JEERS to Ken Lay. While his flunkies face jail time, he's walking (and smirking) around a free man. I thought the Patriot Act was supposed to punish ruthless goons for acts of terror.
CHEERS to Kos alumnus Bilmon. As Bush declares continued love of beef, the savvy blogger asks: If by some remote chance Shrub actually did contract Creutzfeld-Jakob disease from eating a mad cow, how would we know? In the early stages of disease, patients may have failing memory, behavioral changes, lack of coordination and visual disturbances. As the illness progresses, mental deterioration becomes pronounced... Could take awhile.
What (or who) are you cheering and jeering today?
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