My mother use to tell us kids, "it only takes one bad apple to ruin the bushel." Of course as a kid, who thought she knew anything. Later, I thought it applied to crack coke and how smoking dope just got pulled along for the ride of all drugs are bad drugs.
But you know something, the older I get, the more sense it makes. It even applys to blog sites.
I had a bad night, as you might be able to tell from the subject heading. First let me tell you about the day, just so you get an idea of what it was like. Up and get the kid (10 years old) ready for school. Wife leaving for annual conference and I had to take everyone to school, work and then get myself to work. The boy's report card was due out today and he was nervous because he did a "chaney" for a few weeks but after the parent teacher conference, things were pulled into shape by some serious restrictions and curtailment of TV - like NONE during school nights. The night before he asked if I was still going to love him if he didn't make honor roll. He was scared and we tried to talk about the difference between doing your best and just f**king around and how I would never be mad when he tried, so he just needed to try.
So my day.
Take to school - 7 am,
Drop wife off at office, 7:30,
My office 8 but had to immediately leave for an out of office meeting at another site.
Also had to leave early today because 6 months ago we had to schedule a DENTIST appointment for the 10 year old.
3 pm car pool line, pick up at 3:25 (the line is LONG when you get there after 2:50)
dentist at 4 (across county off course) until 4:30.
Across the county again and at 5, piano lesson.
While he is there (45 minutes), drive home and let the dog out. Dog gets loose and I chase damn dog for 15 minutes.
I have 15 minutes to get back to the piano teachers house but along the way I notice a house that had a Kerry sign a couple of day ago and now its gone. It a high profile intersection, so I stop. I have an extra one in my car (mine was stolen and I got a new one and a couple extras for neighbors and friends who couldn't get down to the HQ.) She's an older lady whose sign was stolen just the night before and she was very upset about it. We talked a minute about "those" people and how she can early vote. She was very happy.
Make it back to piano teacher just in time but notice I forgot checkbook since I was chasing dog around the yard. Didn't pay the bill and felt like crap for it. Promised to put it in the mail so she would have it by Saturday.
5:45 to 6 Drive to soccer practice. Boy changes in the car and grabs a snack. Find out he has a soccer tournament that will take all day the weekend before the election. Great.
7:30 home and going through mail, feeding kid real food, switch the laundry and put fresh sheets on the bed and letting dog out again (on leash). He made Honor Roll so I tell him he gets 30 minutes of TV and then shower and bed.
He watches TV and when Linda Ellerbee comes on announcing the results of the kids vote, he goes crazy. We let him vote this past weekend and he told all his friends to go vote for Kerry. He is very happy. He gets to watch TV plus Kerry wins the poll.
While he is in the shower and I'm checking the on-line account balance, I post an entry that Kerry won the Nick at Night poll 57-43 because in OUR fucking little world, that was big news. In ARKANSAS every fucking ray of sunshine counts and that was as good as an 80 degree day on the beach.
Help the boy clean up the bathroom, comb his hair, insure teeth are brushed (no cavities at 10!!) and give him a hug and a big congrats on the Honor Roll.
Then I have time to come back to check the site and catch up on the world.
Now you might have noticed, that I DID NOT say that I took time to search the diaries. God forgive me.
So what happens. Two demo-thugs think they should remind me of the repeated postings guideline because, well, if you can't just read every diary on the site, don't post anything.
You can tell I'm a little upset, mainly because that was just so arrogant and rude. There was no reason for that behavior. They DON"T know that for the past 3 weeks my wife and I have been doing doors and making calls to newly registered voters and talking to all our friends who we know that might be leaning to get out and vote. They don't know my schedule, they can't volunteer to do the laundry, do the shopping, help with home work or just ride herd on the dog and kid while trying to make a little difference in the world.
All they know is that there were "other" postings. BFD. I didn't go crazy the past couple of days when everyone was in a Sinclair feeding frenzy, which, regardless of the thousands of words written and ranting and raving, is back up over 7 a share. No, I kept my mouth shut because I had nothing to add and I just passed the diaries along and found ones I wanted to read. Just like they could have done.
Just like real life at a party, if you don't like the conversation, go to another room.
Bottom line of the entire episode. Behavior like that is what drives people away. No harm done by me. No attempt to argue or get into a fight, just posting something that maybe some might find interesting. My day doesn't need the site. I keep myself busy with just being alive and hoping Nov 2 comes out blue, even in Arkansas.
I know from reading Kos' concerns that the health of the community post taking back the WH and the senate is a nagging problem. I know that when people take it upon them selves to brownshirt others diaries for criticism, no substantive historical issues or even a "this has been posted before" it does not contribute to the health of the group. It turns people away, just like in real life. So you might not know about some insignificant little thing but you also will miss out when ideas and concepts and valuable contributions can be made.
You don't like my posts, go Chaney yourself. This is America. I can do what I want, I can say what I want. Kos doesn't want me here, he can kill the userid.
Where you been PastorDan? Maybe I'm going cold turkey on the lack of sermon postings and need some guiding inspiration (of a non-secular, interndominational type).
Update [2004-10-22 10:2:11 by ArkansasJoseph]:
I've been watching the polarization of the discussion.
Of course there are some who think that if one doesn't like being trashed then leave. Or grow a thicker skin. Or just suck it up. Or like Marius says, "See ya around."
To me, this is like saying, "oh you're just too sensitive. If you can't take a little (fill in the blank with some racial, ethical, sexual orientation comment that you would find rude or offensive) then leave." In a community where their is diverse discussion in attempts to wrestle with the issues, dismissing any input leads to group think. Like the Bush administration. You don't like the way we handle (policy, decisions, discussions) there's the door. If someone could, please point out the difference between those who say, go and the WH actions.
Then there are those who say, "Don't leave. Don't let a couple of thugs drive you away." To those I say thank you.
Yes, I was sensitive. I have developed a sensitive to thoughtless and rude comments and I have withdrawn from groups and some aspects of everyday living when that rudeness and intolerance becomes overwhelming.
It is possible to disagree with someone's observation because it lacks something that is valuable you or doesn't support YOUR opinion and still be polite. But one shouldn't be rude and then cover that rudeness in the form of pointing out some "rule" violation. That doesn't pass the civility test.
I've read where some think that after Nov 2, things will get better. I'm not so sure.
In fact, after Nov 2 it could get worse, it just depends on WHY people come here in the first place. For me, in a FORMERLY RED state, it was finding some folk with common interests and keeping up on the national picture when the local re-thug rag won't say a thing positive about Kerry and hides and excuses the lies from Bush. I think that is pretty common. And there are a couple of very, non-political oriented diaries that I have grown very attached too. PastorDan's for example. And the wonderful diary about the Audacity of hope. These don't speak the political dyanamics as to the heart of our collective hopes and aspirations.
It is these types of diaries that I read and appreciate even though I don't drop a note. Kos can make changes to the "structure" or whatever he can do to make the community a little more manageable. But he can't make people be polite, to show some self-restraint.
As for following the "rules". I like the line in the movie Pirates of the Caribbean". They are rules so much as general guidelines. If folks aren't careful some self appointed thugs will make sure diversity and differing opinions get shouted down or shut out, or elect to fade away. Then you are just like the rethugs, demanding the signing of pledges of agreement before allowing access to the process of discussion.