Why It Isn't Over Yet
or
My Dream Date |
You've heard the story, haven't you, of a man, a great knight, condemned to death for treason. On the way to the block, he saw the King, and shouted to him "Give me a year, and I'll teach your horse to sing!" The King was intrigued, figured what the hell, and granted a one year stay of execution...
What fascinates me is that
everybody's still in it. I'm betting Gephardt is just kicking himself, seeing everybody else just say "sure, I'm still in" and the media don't quite know what to do about it.
"Why haven't you conceded yet? Isn't it obvious that it's Kerry? Iowa and NH are in, it's over, it's finished, you're supposed to give up now. Who cares if you still have money? Who cares if you still have volunteers and contributors?"
You've heard the story, haven't you, of a man, a great knight, condemned to death for treason. On the way to the block, he saw the King, and shouted to him "Give me a year, and I'll teach your horse to sing!" The King was intrigued, figured what the hell, and granted a one year stay of execution.
The condemned man goes to the stable the next day to start work, and the head groom tells him he's crazy, asks him why he did it.
The guy answers "You don't know what's going to happen in a year. My accusers could fall out of favor, a war could erupt and the King could decide that he needs me enough to give me a pardon, the King could die, anything could happen. And even if it doesn't, I've still got one more year to live than I did yesterday.
"And you never know, the horse might sing."
There are a few things that polls are showing right now that interest me greatly regarding the Dem nomination. They are:
1. The Electability Morass Most Dems say they are pulling the lever for the candidate they think has the best chance against Bush, and not on the basis of a strong personal preference.
That's kind of "well, duh" but there it is. I f*cking hate that kind of logic, the second-guessing meta-thinking least-objectionable-pasteboard candidate nominating... well it's just flawed. And we have El Presidente floating right up there in front of us to prove how flawed that method of decision making is.
After all, nobody on the Republican side said "well, I personally like what John McCain has to say, but George Bush is a draft-dodging failed oilman with a history of drug use and driving under the influence, plus every time he is the tiniest bit unscripted (and often when he isn't) he sounds like a moron. That makes him more electable. Sorry, McCain - you're a good guy and all, great sense of humor, but that refusing to be released from the Hanoi Hilton early when the VC found out who your father was - I just don't know how that's gonna play in the press."
They don't look at electability, they don't assume the burden of perfection. Most of them vote the way they're told, and the guys telling them how to vote don't say over and over again to everyone "the other guy is so great, we only have a chance of beating him if we..."
Of course, they don't talk much about ideas, either. What do they talk about? Oh yeah, You Deserve Your Money, So Write Me A Check.
2. That funky poll 52% of Americans don't want to see Bush get a second term, but 78% think he's going to get it. Now that's a stat to track. That 52%, incidentally, breaks down into 47% strongly don't want the smirk around anymore and another 5% are only kind-of sick of him. I dunno, that looks pretty beatable to me, and things are only getting worse for Honor and Dignity, what with those jobs not showing up on cue and David Kay doing his thing and DiIulio getting joined by O'Neill in the Great Suskind Revelations and then there's the 9/11 commission and wait, what have I forgotten? Oh, yeah, all those pesky casualties in the Persian Gulf. Those do kind of put a damper on that whole "mission accomplished," "Bring 'Em On" thing, don't they?
That man is on shaky ground and it's only just starting to become noticable. Now maybe you look at this and say "Bush can be beaten" and that makes you want a surer bet, or maybe you say it and figure that this is your chance to stop worrying about whether or not everyone else will like your shoes, you think they're fabulous and those strappy things aren't as comfortable for dancing in so screw everybody else, you're voting for Braun, electable or not. Which she isn't, but only by virtue of having already dropped out of the race.
You get my point - in another month, we may not give a rat's ass about electability. And that's a good thing. You don't want to wake up next to a guy one day and realize that you married him primarily because your best friend said he was cute and you thought your mother would approve of him. You're the one stuck picking up his socks, you better be damned sure before you say "I vote" that nobody else on this planet ever had feet as charmingly sweaty as your Beloved Candidate.
3 In Which Media Gets Tired of All This Sh*t Do you get the idea that I think politics (not government, but politics) is a lot like dating? Media (not her real name) is making "I'm tired of all these booty-calls and finding other women's thong panties at your apartment and no, the occasional dinner out and bouquet of flowers does not make it all all right" noises.
If the analogy holds true, Media will next be calling us at 1 AM to analyze all the places where she should have known she was dating a rat bastard. Personally, I'm looking forward to when she gets to the "I can't make decisions about Candidates. Come on Electorate, be a pal, you pick out my next President" stage. Media, when you're ready, I want you to know it's ok, I'm there for you. We all need a little help now and then.
So there it is. This sucker is still all up in the air, and all because some Candidates are getting all like Brad Pitt in Fight Club, where he isn't gonna just let the mob boss kick him around, and the mob boss is like "you're outta here" and Brad Pitt is like "no, I'm not" and he keeps standing up and getting hit again, and when it's all over, he ends up with an army. That part of Fight Club was, incidentally, based on a real event in the life of Dorothy Hamill, but I digress. The point is that the race isn't over when only two states have voted, campaigning is still going on, and candidates still have money in the bank.
Oh, yeah, my dream date. Me and a certain dashing fellow who would like to remain Brian at the Inaugural for President Dean. The entertainment: Krudler's haunting rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings." Extra points to everyone who's read this far and gets the joke.