Very weird: buried at one a.m. last nite, a Dennis Miller show with special guest Major Scott Ritter. I don't know if they're still screwing around with trying to get him the right format or what, but the set looks different, the audience seems different, the whole mood of the show was dark. Miller's opening segment goes over like a lead ballon with the studio audience, you can hear them laboring to chuckle, but Miller's meanness is almost producing coughs of embarrassment. I'm thinking, if Rove thought The Right had a new spokesman in the aging hipster with the tiny hands and the 3-day stubble, he must be kicking himself now. Miller looks like a grouchy over-the-hill Maynard G. Krebs, fulminating against "those damn hippies." This is an unpleasant man. How must he be coming off to Mr. and Mrs. John Q. America? Not exactly "Morning In America"...
Anyway, after his monolgue he brings on Scott Ritter by remote hook-up, who proceeds to calmly lay out the very damning case against the United States presence in Iraq. Sitting at what looks to be the writing desk in his home office, he appears every inch the courageous ex-Marine, red-white and blue, sober patriot that he is. He gives the history of weapons inspections in Iraq, from the time he was leading the hunt to the time they were pulled out by Bush (not kicked out by Saddam) and says the occupation is not worth the 500-plus American lives this "illegitimate" war has cost so far. Miller sputters that his use of the word "illegitimate" is offensive to the families of the soldiers. Ritter, instead of shrinking from Miller's flag-waving, states that he supports the troops and their families 100% - and that's why he says they should be brought home NOW, because they are being put in harms way for no legitimate reason. Ritter doesn't mince words. The invasion was illegal. The rationales for the war have all evaporated. There were no WMD there, there was no Al Qaeda connection, we're not bringing democracy. He says the so-called coalition of Poland and the other 32 countries fighting on the American side are a joke, more of a detriment than a help. Miller retorts that there are 3 or 4 guys on his crew with "ski" at the end of their names who'd like to differ with him abou the Polish troops being a joke. Again, Ritter refuses to take Miller's snarky bait. He praises the Polish troops but reiterates that they have no mission there, says that Southern Iraq is about to blow up in their faces and the "coalition" will eventually find an excuse to split, leaving the U.S. and the brits to deal with the coming civil war alone. Miller responds by saying, "Well, I still think you should tone down your rhetoric, Scotty." Scotty! Oh, Dennis, you're so hip and with it, babe!
Ritter, the husky, clean-shaven, straight-shooting, clear-eyed ex-Marine has clearly ripped Miller a new asshole. Every time the camera cuts to Miller, with his salt-and-pepper stubble and spittle-moistened, crooked mouth, you can't help thinking the worm has turned. The Left has a clean-cut, articulate, battle-tested spokesman making its case, and the Right is left with a crusty, unfunny ex-comedian spouting tired cliches and smirking. How long before CNBC pulls the plug on this embarrassment? Right now everything the Bush team touches is turning to shit. Here's hoping they keep trotting fools like Miller out to defend the indefensible. If John Kerry doesn't feature Major Scott Ritter as a regular part of his campaign he's crazy. The guy is a winner.