I wrote this up Dr. Seuss Grinch-style. Enjoy.
Once upon a time in that Babylon SF
Mayor Newsome decided that enough was enough
No more segregation of the marriageable classes
He'd allow gay marriage, to the benefit of the masses
With one swipe of his pen, Newsome opened the gates
And within minutes there was an hours-long wait
People from across the nation, came to Newsome's part
With smiles on their faces, and love in their heart
Newsome's city got rich from marriage license fees
Hotels were booked to the gills and people slept under trees
Tourism boomed and everyone was satisfied
Except for the Evil Shrub, who watched and despised
"First activist judges give homosexuals rights
Now this Newsome in SF is spoiling for a fight
But I'll use strategery to make a Constitutional Amendation
And forever ban gay marriage from my right-wing nation."
Evil Shrub huffed and puffed from his election-year pulpit
Exhorting his fundamentalist base to never ever forfeit
Their God-given right to keep gays from theirs
"Keep me in office till '08 and I'll even ban beers!
"Might I also add that gay marriage is just the first step
Let this happen, and you'll what comes next
Men married to beasts, destruction of all creation
Complete anarchy will ensue, and ruin your nation"
But while Evil Shrub campaigned against the homosexual agenda
Something stopped him short from completing his referendum
Married gays and lesbians all looked so pleased
It brought a tear to his eye and a shake to his knees
"Why they just want to be together in their own perverse way
And by keeping them apart I'm ruining their day
Gay marriage can't be that bad, if it makes people so happy
Just like I was when I invaded Iraq for Pappy"
And right on that day Evil Shrub's heart grew three sizes
He felt so good that he could no longer summon the self-righteous
Thoughts that had girded him through his past three years
And right on the campaign trail, he re-charted his political career
Money for the poor, and not to the rich
Healthcare for all, even homeless in a ditch
Retract the Patriot Act and tell Johnny boy
No more illegal arrests, or else he'll lose his employ
But then last of all, came his favorite, oil
The one thing even gay rights could not spoil
Evil Shrub summoned his courage and in a loud voice did proclaim
An entirely new agenda he hoped would bring much fame
"Fuel standards on SUVs, no more getting by
Clean up the smokestacks, surely I can try
Don't dig in ANWR, let those caribou alone
And with renewable energy I'll set up the tone"
Evil Shrub had changed, but it was too late
In November being put out of office was his sad fate
Still the Democrats liked the changed Shrub and found him an opportunity
Licking stamps and stuffing envelopes for the newly Progressive DNC.
