JEB BUSH RESIGNS AS FIRST BROTHER
from
THE STROBIS WEAKLY 4/01/04
Gov Jeb Bush of Florida announced today that he has decided "with regret" to resign his position as First Brother, effective immediately.
Gov Bush described his decision as final; a letter of resignation to his brother, former Governor George W. Bush, just seven months before election day has sent White House aides and advisors into an uproar. White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan has called a press briefing for later this afternoon; until then his only response to an array of questions from the White House press corps has been a terse "No comment". Other high-ranking White House officials also declined to discuss the matter on the record.
But some White House advisors are clearly angry. "First he fails to deliver Florida for us in a timely manner, and now this," one advisor said bitterly.
Added another: "With this one petulant act Jeb Bush loses an awful lot of special privileges the President ordinarily extends to members of his immediate family. It's highly unlikely Jeb will be bringing any more Playboy bunnies back for sleepovers in the Lincoln bedroom. I hope he knows that."
Friction between the two brothers has been developing incrementally since George W's election to the governorship of Texas on the very day brother Jeb lost his own race for the same post in Florida in 1992. The President would often gently tease his little brother for the loss at Republican Party social functions and fundraisers for years afterwards, loudly referring to him as a "major-league loser", "Jub-Jub", "Pussy", and "Fredo". More recently he'd been introducing Jeb at GOP fund-raisers as "Roger Clinton".
White House officials are also telling reporters--off the record--that names on the short list of nominees to fill the post of First Brother include Charlton Heston, Zell Miller, and an as yet unnamed minority female.