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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Okay, I apologize for yesterday's poll. I hate the ones where every choice is the same. But, c'mon, what else could we possibly want to give Al Gore for his birthday than a 2000 do-over? Exactly. (Today's poll returns C&J to its synapse-stimulating luster.)
Hey, if anyone has a working link to the Letterman/yawning kid/CNN liars footage, would you mind posting it here? CHEERS to you if you can. The link I found last night is now disabled, and even a Google search didn't yield anything. If you haven't seen the kid---and Letterman's rebuttal to CNN's LYING coverage of it---it's one for the archives.
Final note: Today is April Fools Day. This column, however, is free of any deliberate foolery. Even the Tom variety.
Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Copy section...RIGHTNOW!
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, April 1, 2004
CHEERS to `The O'Franken Factor.' Rough in spots, sure, but guest stars Michael Moore and Al Gore were fun. And here's a reminder that, if his radio gig doesn't pan out, he's always deadly with the mighty pen: http://www.commondreams.org/views04/0331-07.htm
JEERS to lying liars. Seems like everyone wants to get in the flip-flop game. Now the Vatican says its eye-bugging opposition to Iraq war was really just a teensy weensy, itty bitty difference of opinion. But who was it who said, "No to war!" and "It is always a defeat for humanity"? Could it be...the dress-wearer-in-chief? Click here to find out: http://www.globalexchange.org/countries/iraq/522.html
JEERS to bad timing. Choking back tears (gimme a break) during speech at Petrochemical and Refiners annual convention, George Bush, Sr. defends his little boy's war games, saying Iraq is "...not sliding back into despair and terrorism." Never mind those 5 American GIs killed by a roadside bomb. And the Americans set ablaze and dragged through the streets by Iraqis. P.S.---Isn't it odd that war-loving New York Post chose to put a baseball story on its cover today?
JEERS to free passes. OPEC vows to cut oil production as White House whistles and looks the other way. Hummer owners are pissed---they may actually have to tap into their $38,000 tax break. (Reminder here: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/104601_hummer17.shtml). Maybe we could organize a fundraiser instead? Anyone?
CHEERS to smart TV viewers. CNN ratings down by half. Fox viewership down by more than a third. And Jon Stewart kicks both their asses when his Daily Show is on. Now we have our answer to: who do you trust?
CHEERS to April Fools Day. The one day we have permission to put our scruples aside, make up wild stories and play pranks on people. How sad that in D.C. they can't tell the difference.
CHEERS to the war on drugs. U.S. and Int'l agents bust Ecstasy ring, wiping out 15 percent of the supply. Pacifier Manufacturers Association declares state of emergency.
JEERS to sheep counting us. National Sleep Foundation says Americans are having trouble getting to sleep in droves (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=594&e=2&u=/nm/20040331/hl_nm/health_slee
p_dc ). Two major culprits: late-night TV and caffeine. Kos readers have different problem: all those cheers and jeers echoing in their heads. "Yaaaay...!" "Boooo...!" Mommy, make it stop.
JEERS to www.michaelmoore.com. No new message since Feb. 11? No updates on `Fahrenheit 911?' And for heavens sake, why is your Oscar speech still taking up prime real estate? Makeover, please! (Mini-cheer, however, for your regularly updated `Must Read' section.)
JEERS to outsourced childhood icons. Bilmon blog reports Radio Flyer wagons to lay off nearly half of its Chicago employees, send manufacturing to China. Upside: Your kid's little red wagon will now come with a free copy of Mao's Little Red Book.
CHEERS to Meteor Blades. Pens the most important health column of the week---from personal experience, no less: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/3/30/173623/909 . Over 100,000 people will drop dead from a sudden death heart attack this year. C&J is relieved Meteor wasn't one of them. (But did you have to come so darn close?) Message: if you do nothing else...take your fish oil.
JEERS to `House of Sand and Fog.' I finally caught this flick on DVD. Yes, the acting is Oscar-worthy. But for all the emotional turmoil, death and destruction, the film's message is: open your mail. Well, Duh!
JEERS to the Battle of the Bulge. Weight Watchers formed 58 years ago today. Americans are fatter than ever. I smell a class action lawsuit. Mmmmm, smells like brownies. Aglglghgghgl...
So...what are you cheering and jeering about today?