AP News Line
August, Friday 13th, 2004
Washington, DC
Bush Promises Conditional Aid to Florida
As Hurricane Charley began to bear down on Florida just a day after Tropical Storm Bonnie lashed the coast, President Bush promised an aid package for Florida. "Oh we'll help 'em. See, I want the best for Florida and America. If people are suffering, I want to help. If people are in danger, I want to protect them. If people are in need, I want to make them needless."
Although details of the aid package have yet to be announced, the numbers are rumored to be in the hundreds of millions. "See, we don't want people to think their government won't help them in times of crisis, cause that's not the case with me. That's not what being a commander in chief who knows how to fight terrorists is all about."
After his announcement in the Rose Garden at the White House today, President Bush fielded questions. When asked about a supposed loyalty oath surrounding the aid package, Bush brushed off the question , "Well, now, all the details haven't been worked out, but uhm, well, 'loyalty' just isn't the right word."
When pressed about rumors that aid wouldn't be given unless potential recipients signed a pledge of "
unwavering loyalty and respect for the president and his policies, and a sincere desire to vote for Bush in November," Bush looked at his watch, knocked over his glass of water, then responded that he was having trouble hearing. After the question was repeated several times, Bush replied," Well, now, you see this is a lot of money and well, you know times are tight at the treasury and (crackle) yo-(crackle)" Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties the question and answer session was cut short.
The White House was not available for comment.