I've read a lot of 'ouch' comments about the second Swift Boats ad, officially titled 'KerryYouFuckingTraitorWeShould'veFraggedYouWhileWeHadTheChance.' I hear people say
Oooh, that one hurt, and
Gosh, I hope nobody sees it, and
Why can't Kerry pronounce 'Genghis' like a normal person and will that lose us Ohio?
Well, yeah, at first this spot seems more incisive than the last. At least it's not crammed with fibs. In this way, we're rather like those dogs in the 'learned helplessness' experiments. When we're not being hit by electric shocks, it actually seems decent to be in a wire cage. Funny how our standards have dropped so much that a Bush ad that doesn't spew lies left and right seems suddenly worth taking seriously.
I'd love to be able to dispatch these wrinkled ogres and their latest ad with a rejoinder as quick as the last ad, in which case the response was Ha ha ha ha, caught you lying you hairy-earlobed Budweiser belt-buckled white trash! However, I'm not sure that can be done quickly when the subject is Kerry's own ain't-I-precocious quotes. So, failing that, the unabbreviated form of the comeback. Maybe some Superman-like Kossack will grab hold of my lowly carbon and squeeze out a gem. Or be put in mind of a better one.
Ooh, my first diary, and you've gone this far. Right, here're my problems with what they're saying this time.
1. There are literally hundreds of cites of the ear-trophying, free-fire, rapes, etc. These things happened in Vietnam. Are they saying they didn't?
2. Kerry doesn't blame any of these guys by name. If they've been bothered by people calling them names, they're perfectly capable of walking away like big boys. Punji sticks and stones can break my bones...
2a. Or are they uptight because they have a few ears in velvet-lined boxes of their own hidden in their basement? Hmmm... A few of these guys seem to fit the description of the wacked-out vet in that Raymond Carver story...
3. Kerry was the messenger. Now, where I come from, we learn as children not to shoot the messenger. Do we need to go back to basic Sunday school manners?
4. If they have a problem with what Kerry described, they should take it up with their government and their military commanders themselves. Kerry wasn't the one ordering bad behavior in Vietnam. The people with the problems were the officers who either ordered or allowed these things to happen. Because happen they did. If they saw a war crime take place, it was their clear duty to have a pair and report on it--just like John Kerry.
5. It was 'demotivating.' How, exactly? Let's see, you're stuck in a brutally hot, jungled-over country fighting in an epically stupid war, your food is godawful, your bunkmate is google-eyed from shooting up smack, you stink like hell, there are bugs in your ass-crack, your dog passed away back in the States, and people you can't see are shooting at you. But you're 'demotivated' by some guy making a speech.
6. It was 35 years ago. For god's sake, the victim cred thing is supposed to be a liberal millstone. How will they ever know when they're not being made a victim anymore? Will they suddenly feel by some kind of magic that Big Bad John isn't persecuting them anymore? Hmmm...seems like someone's caught in the--shudder--cycle of victimization.
7. In a few years when you're not being zipped around the country anymore to take phone questions from call-in radio show dingbats, how's it going to feel that your only peek through the curtains at the glorious world of fame came from perjuring yourself to support a president who made every effort to avoid serving alongside you and share with you the burden of fighting for your country?
Now, let's not think 'ouch' so quickly, eh? And if there are any more problems with these guys, by all means drop 'em in.