I found
this hilarious piece and wanted to share it with all of you.
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Alabama Mail Room Veterans for Bush
Friday August 06, 2004
WASHINGTON D.C., Aug. 6th, 2004, For Immediate Release -- Regnery Publishing today announced publication of a new book, "Alabama Mail Room Veterans for Bush". This explosive new blockbuster reveals the truth about Bush's service in the Air National Guard, and puts to rest once and for all questions about his attendance.
Through interviews with a courageous band of brothers, the Alabama Air National Guard Mail Room veterans who served alongside Bush, the book portrays the heroic duty and sacrifice that shaped a young Bush's future and made him the leader that he is today.
Excerpts:
# "This one time we got in a whole mail bag full of absentee ballots for the guys on the base. George knew the guys were working hard to defend freedom and had a lot on their minds being away from their families and all. So without even being asked, he took it upon himself to fill out all those ballots for the guys and send them back in. That says a lot about his character. His first thought was for the guys. So don't tell me he won't support our troops and our veterans."
Pfc. Woody Johnson, AANG
# "I was personally waiting in the base dentist's office reception area while George had a deep cleaning. Let me tell you, that's torture. And those guys over there in the Hanoi Hilton thought they had it bad. Bush took it like a man, not like that pussy McCain."
Cpl. Jake Leghorn, AANG
# "One night over at the Dixie Cup this dude came in and started playing some hippie trash on the jukebox. George just walked over, dropped in four quarters, and played 'Okie from Muskogee' twenty times in a row. Just like that -- no fear, no hesitation. That other dude slinked on out with his tail between his legs, sort of like that Saddam fellow, and we all had a good laugh. That's what I look for in a decisive leader. As I recall, it was a Wurlitzer jukebox."
Sgt. Buddy Looper, AANG
# "It's still hard to talk about, but I was there when Lt. Bush went down. I still have nightmares. He was opening this envelope with an urgent message to the base commander about potato rations for next week. The sharp edge of the envelope flap caught him right under the left thumbnail. Nasty f**ing paper cut, man. I'll never forget it. There was blood all over his in-box. He was really f*ed up.
But he was one tough hombre. Didn't even holler out for a medic. His first instinct was to get that potato ration memo over to base HQ. Complete disregard for his own personal safety. Not me, man. No f
**ing way. We finally got him down and rushed him over to the infirmary. They patched him up, shot him full of morphine, and he was back on duty that afternoon.
Later when they offered him a Purple Heart, he said 'Naw, it was just a scratch. Give it to that fellow who stapled his thumb to that packing crate.' See, that right there is all you need to know about the difference between Lt. Bush and that coward Kerry who took a Purple Heart and a ticket home for a scratch and a Band-Aid."
Lt. Eugene Overholder, AANG
# "I remember one night when Lt. Bush landed in the brig. He was stinking drunk. Could barely walk. There was this other kid in there, a skinny kid from West Virginia, in there for stealing a carton of milk from over at the mess hall.
When they brought around rations, Lt. Bush gave his to the kid. Even though he was drunk as a coot owl, Lt. Bush had the presence of mind to talk to that kid about his troubles, and witnessed to him how the good Lord would always forgive him if he would just accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior. 'Straighten up and fly right,' he told him. At least I think that's what he told him. Lt. Bush's speech was still pretty slurred.
Anyway, There is no doubt in my mind that Lt. Bush saved that kid's life that night. I now realize I was seeing an early example of the future President Bush's compassionate conservatism and faith-based leadership in action."
MP Cpl. Lance Spears, AANG
# "I am proud to report that under my command, Lt. Bush was an outstanding aviator and that to the best of my recollection the Alabama Air National Guard mail facilities he patrolled were never once successfully attacked by the Viet Cong Air Force."
Brig. Gen. Beauregard L. Turnipburp, AANG ret.
Regnery's new book, "Alabama Mail Room Veterans for Bush" is available now from the Drudge website's "Conservative Books for One Dollar Club".
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