This has been bothering me for a while. I mean, I love
Bill as much as the next guy, but I have to admit that
the similarities are staggering and kind of
unsettling.
Both are successful businessmen with legions of
adoring minions. Both just happened into positions of
great power over said minions. Both have dogs. Anytime either one of them says anything,
people talk about it for days. Both are from New
England. Both are known for their affinity for
alcoholic beverages. Both have minions who are
obsessed with
butts. The only difference that I can
see is that one is a slightly nutty man's man who
doesn't take any crap, and the other is the President
of the United States.
Think about it, and if you're not sufficiently creeped
out, join me on the flipside.
The boss is away, so the minions will play! Hey,
what's this thing do? ::swooooosh:: ::clink:: Dammit,
who broke the gong? DA-RRELLLLLLLLL!
Note: In the interest of clearing up recent, uh,
infections, extra chlorine has been added to the
Kiddie Pool. If you experience burning in the eyes or
melting flesh, please retire to the cabana. Speaking
of cabanas, Bill is away on a "business trip". Hope he
tips his cabana boy.
BY THE NUMBERS
Days til thousands of Michiganders pass out in a
tryptophan-induced stupor while watching the Detroit
Lions get their asses handed to them: 7
Number of diaries that have been written about God
this week: Dozens
Number of insults hurled at atheists and believers
this week: Thousands
Number of Kossacks who wish it would just end already:
At least one (me)
Number of college students who approve of the job Bush
is doing: 41% (Source: Science Daily)
Number of phone calls I took last month at work:
2299
Days until the Rent
movie opens: 6
Number of Trollhouse Cookbooks sold: Not enough.
Get yours now, folks.
Your puppy pic of the day: Even
Rover is glued to the TV waiting for more
indictments.
CHEERS to funerals...well, this one anyway.
Bush's hare-brained Social Security scheme is
officially dead.
JEERS to his other hare-brained scheme to
help fleece senior citizens, this Medicare
prescription debacle. Millions of seniors have begun
flooding insurance company call centers, confused,
perplexed and annoyed at this convoluted scam, and who
can blame them? All we want is the same healthcare
coverage you have, Georgie Boy. Is that so tough to
understand?
JEERS to Old Man Winter, who arrived in
Michigan last night with a vengeance. I can't wait
until I can be rid of you for good, you snot-nosed
little SOB.
CHEERS to the only turkey recipe you'll ever need.
CHEERS to yet another country leaping ahead of
the United States in human rights. This time it's
Australia, granting gays and lesbians access to each
others' pensions. If anyone needs me, I'll be packing
my bags and booking a flight to Brisbane.
Cheers and Jeers Flashback: November 17, 2004
Bill probably wrote something snarky that pissed off a
bunch of Republicans. He's like that sometimes.
And just one more:
CHEERS to the denizens of C&J for letting me
take the reins today. I've been reading C&J for about
eight months now, and without all of you, I'd be a
sad, pathetic little man with no friends. Now I'm a
sad, pathetic little man with dozens of friends, and
it's all thanks to C&J. Thank goodness Bill's back on
Tuesday.
That's all I got, kids. What are you cheering and jeering about on this snowy Thursday?
