Via Pharyngula, from Esquire:
Greetings from Idiot America
CREATIONISM. INTELLIGENT DESIGN. FAITH-BASED THIS. TRUST-YOUR-GUT THAT. THERE'S NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO ESPOUSE, PROFIT FROM, AND BELIEVE IN UTTER, UNADULTERATED CRAP. AND THE CRAP IS RISING SO HIGH, IT'S GETTING DANGEROUS.
Step inside to view the future of science education in IDiot America!
(Sorry, I posted
this earlier but when I tried to edit, it went someplace far far away... Sorry to everyone who commented!]
The most scientifically and technologically advanced civilization in the history of the world, IDiot America. Ruled by a Theocrat in Chief and judged by a Council of High Priests... er what I meant to say is... a High Court of impartial Judges. The conversion of the political power in America is almost complete, the media has either converted or been paid their thirty peices of silver,
"On August 21, a newspaper account of the "intelligent design" movement contained this remarkable sentence: "They have mounted a politically savvy challenge to evolution as the bedrock of modern biology, propelling a fringe academic movement onto the front pages and putting Darwin's defenders firmly on the defensive."
A "politically savvy challenge to evolution" is as self-evidently ridiculous as an agriculturally savvy challenge to euclidean geometry would be. It makes as much sense as conducting a Gallup poll on gravity or running someone for president on the Alchemy party ticket. It doesn't matter what percentage of people believe they ought to be able to flap their arms and fly, none of them can. It doesn't matter how many votes your candidate got, he's not going to turn lead into gold. This sentence is so arrantly foolish that the only real news is where it appeared.
On the front page.
Of the New York Times."
all that remains to be done is the complete conversion of the education system, and then either the conversion or the destruction of the scientific infrastructure.
The Esquire article begins with a tour of a Museum of Natural History intended to educate visitors about God's most wonderful creation, the Natural World.
I know, I know, some of you are thinking:
"Hey, wait a minute... to a believer any museum of natural history would be a museum to God's Creation."
Unfortunately you're not a naturalized citizen of idiot America. Yet.
You see this museum is very special, instead of studying the natural world and penetrating its mysteries to find the answers to great questions, this museum used a cheat sheet. The answers to all the natural world's mysteries have already been provided:
This museum attempts to reconcile the stories of The Bible with the evidence of the natural world we see around us.
Of course, this necessarily means many of us have to rethink a few things we've been taught since childhood like,... what about Noah? and "all creatures great and small..."
Yes, of course what you are seeing is a lovely print of Noah leading all the creatures two by two onto the Ark.
There are the monkeys, cute little monkeys!
The horses, I want a poney!
The giraffes, wow their necks sure are long! Are you sure they're gonna fit in that ark Noah?
The wooly... mammoths? (wait a minute, didn't they die off in the last ice age?)
Then the ....? WTF? Tyrranosaurs!?!
Is that a Triceratops? And... and... pteradactyls!?
Didn't I mention this is the Creation Museum? The theme of which is: "The Bible is true from Genesis to Revelation."
I told you it was a very special museum,... short bus special!
Come inside, it's a big place so saddle up a dinosaur and let's take a look around! And learn about the 7 C's of biblical history.
"One set of bones, two interpretations. How can two paleontologists, digging the same dinosaur fossil in the field, reach opposite conclusions?
The answer: starting points. Fossils don't come with labels. "
Hmmm... Seems like you've labelled them all:
"Made in Heaven, drowned in a flood."
Next, let's visit the "Bible Authority Room"
"The Bible is true. No doubt about it! Paul explains God's authoritative Word, and everyone who rejects His history-including six-day creation and Noah's Flood-is `willfully' ignorant."
That's right boys and girls, if you believe that silly nonsense about the earth going around the sun, you're going to hell! We all know the earth is flat.
Now let's go.... Look out! You almost got eaten by
"T. rex--the real king of the beasts. That's the terror that Adam's sin unleashed! You'll run into this monster lurking near Adam and Eve. How's this possible? Find out soon!"
Oh, I just can't wait to find that one out!
I could go on mocking and making fun of these poor deluded people, but I feel bad for them... and, more importantly, I'm afraid of them. They've taken my country and I want it back.
Esquire:
"It is a long way from Jefferson's observatory and Franklin's kite to George W. Bush, in an interview in 2005, suggesting that intelligent design ought to be taught alongside the theory of evolution in the nation's science classes. "Both sides ought to be properly taught," said the president, "so people can understand what the debate is about."
Why do the Republicans want to turn our country into a nation of idiots?
"And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed--if all records told the same tale--then the lie passed into history and became truth. 'Who controls the past' ran the Party slogan, 'controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.'"
1984
So what are you going to do?