Twas the night before Fitzmas and in the White House
The Preznit was snoring for his condition was "soused."
His aides were cowering under their beds with a scare
From fear that St. Fitzgerald soon would be there
McClellan was weeping, wishing for death
On his neck he can feel Helen Thomas' breath
Rove in his diaper and Gannon with a whip
Had just settled down for a last bump of hips
When out in the city there arose such a clatter
WHIG members began to froth, sputter, and spatter
For as sure as Santorum is as mad as a hatter
They knew damn well just what was the matter
They scattered, they scuttled, trying to vanish
There was nowhere to run, hide...hey, isn't Condi quite mannish?
What did their terrified ears then suddenly hear?
But a man burst inside and yell, "Yer daddy is here!"
With a legal mind that was so lively and quick
They knew at a glance it must be St. Fitz
More rapid than eagles his subopenas came
He bellowed and shouted and called them by name
"Now Condi, now Hannah, now Bolton, now Hadley!"
"Now Timmy, now Novak, now Judy, now Libby!"
"Come Karl, come Ari, come Card and come Scotty!"
"Come one and all, come Bush and come Cheney!"
"You thought you could duck this" he said with a roar
"You've all treason to answer for, that and much more!"
He took statements galore, questioned and probed
Into guilty pants there dropped many big loads
Finally he finished and looked each in the eye
"You're all lying scum, time to eat humble pie"
Then he turned on his heel and began to walk out
When over his shoulder they all heard him shout
"I'm coming for you, I can't be stopped"
"The law has caught you, now here's a last thought"
He turned to face them and his eye gleamed with light
"Merry Fitzmas to all, TIME TO FUCKIN' INDICT!"
frontpaged at My Left Wing