Note: This is a high-concept diary entry. It posits that O'Reilly's War on Christmas conspiracy theory is real. It was planned months ago, at a top secret meeting that brought together leading democrats, the ACLU, Hollywood liberals and Jews who plotted to remove all references to Jesus and Christmas from the holiday season. The transcript of the meeting was leaked, and proves that everything that was said on FOX about the War on Christmas (WOC for short) is true. I'll kick it off, and you can contribute...
( In this particular diary, the Rating system of 1-4 no longer refers to "1. Unproductive, 2. Marginal 3. Good 4. Excellent" but rather "1. Not funny 2. Mildly Amusing 3. Funny 4. Laugh Out Loud")
Transcript from the Protocols of the Elders of Streisand
Location: The Streisand Compound in Beverly Hills
In Attendance are Barbara Streisand, Howard Dean, Michael Moore, Cindy Sherman, Al Franken, Arianna Huffington, Hillary Clinton, Sean Penn, Whoopi Goldberg etc...(feel free to add other names to the conspiracy...)
Barbara Streisand: I would like to call this meeting to order, but first could I get a Perrier? What is this "Poland Springs" drek? And for god sakes, Juanita, bring me a WATER glass. This is a wine glass. (aside to Arianna Huffington) It is SO hard to find good help these days. I'm almost tempted to hire an American citizen.
Arrianna Huffington: Dahling, I know just how you feel. Oh look! Howard is here...
Howard Dean: YEEARRRGH! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Dead silence in the room.
HD: I'm KIDDING. God, it's a joke. Happy HOLIDAYS! YEEARRGH!
(Laughter, applause.)
MICHAEL MOORE: You had me going there for a second, I mean, you're always talking about "party discipline."
HD: Well, hell, we're among friends in here. We're all rich liberals dedicated to the creation of a secular socialist state, and removing all references to God and religion from the public square. In here, I hope we can speak frankly about our - lets call it what it is - our Godless conspiracy. But out in the public, on the talk shows, in the Main Stream Media, I don't want to hear the word "Christmas" from the mouth of any of you. Kwanza, Hanukkah, fine. But not the C-word. Are we clear?
(general murmers of agreement)
HD: I CAN"T HEAR YOU!
ALL: YES, SUPREME LEADER.
HD: Now Barbara, you were going to call this meeting to order?
(your turn...)