We've talked about compassionless conservatives. We've talked about say-one-thing-and-do-another conservatives. We've spoken about borrow-and-spend conservatives.
But here's a meme that'll hit home: crybaby conservatives.
Seriously, underneath all the dripping contempt and anger, these guys carry on like a bunch of spoiled children: "WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Waaaaaaaaah! You hate the president! You're a traitor! And a meanie, too!"
People who hate the president are traitors? So all those Clinton-haters should be jailed, yes?
"Waaaaaaaaaah! Lefties are terrorist sympathizers! And TRAITORS!" (Crybaby conservatives use the words "treason" and "traitor" a lot.)
Bush is friends with the Saudi royal family. And traitors? Dear, Robert Novak published the name of a CIA agent, thus jeopardizing US security abroad.
"Waaaaaaaaah! I don't wanna see gay people on TV!"
Then change the channel, moron.
"Waaaaaaaaaah! They make us learn about evolution. Darwin stinks!"
But you agree with the social Darwinist policies of Bush. See? You do believe in Darwin.
"Waaaaaaaaah! I wanna have a big ceramic Jesus on the school playground but they won't let me!"
That's what your local church is for, dearie.
"Waaaaaaaaaaah! You lost! Go away! GO AWAY! I DON'T WANNA LISTEN TO YOU! WAAAAAAAH MOMMY MAKE THE MEAN LIBERAL GO AWAY!"
They must be pissed that Bush only got 51 percent of the vote and they still have to share this country with 55 million people who are opposed to him.
Al Franken writes that conservatives love their country like a four-year-old loves Mommy, whereas liberals love their country like grownups. Liberals are willing to accept that the US has flaws and work to correct those flaws. That's why liberals are rightly termed the reality-based community. In the real world, there are always problems to be solved.
That's the frame we could use:
Liberals = responsible adults
Conservatives = whiny brats
There's a grain of truth there.
Read any Coulter column and you'll find an example of crybaby conservatism. She claims liberals fall into her "trap" when they call her on her venal comments. Actually, she falls into their trap. Someone like Coulter is great for making the other side look bad. She claims that the media is "ignoring" liberals and liberals have been vanquished, but alas, she knows it isn't true. No wonder her columns read like temper tantrums.
Ditto Delay, Norquist, or any other "neener neener go away liberal" conservative. Ditto O'Reilly, Limbaugh, or any other conservative who is too afraid to venture outside the protective coccoon of a TV studio or radio station. They're like selfish, scared, ill-mannered little kids.
Call them what they are. Not just any conservatives. Crybaby conservatives. Respond to their bile by asking "Are you done with your little temper tantrum yet?"
That might work. What do you think?