The last few weeks have been a crash course in media maneuvering, jostling journalists and entreating editors.
And I owe a lot (though he doesn't know it) to the Amazing Apian.
And it's having an effect on the way I write.
I've been surprised at how out-of-touch news professionals often are about, um, the news, so I often include links and quote sources in the hopes of jump-starting some half-awake journalist somewhere into clicking off AP and the porn sites to check out some of my "wild" accusations. But to fully grasp what these documents really mean, at some point you've gotta slog through some pretty boring text (which is in English, no less, instead of Murkin) and I can just feel the eyes glazing over, that famously short attention span begins to fade just before the crucial quote... and then damn, lost another one to Ditech. One possible remedy for this is after the break...
The ongoing campaign to bring awareness to the
Downing Street Documents has begun to have an impact, most notably in Ombudsman Michael Getler's
critique of the Washington Post's lame coverage admitting the import and journalistic negligence of the story, and in Sen. John McCain's
interview/spinning demonstration on CNN where he had to obfuscate/misdirect/lie by saying he "didn't agree" the documents and had "seen no evidence" that the Bush administration had manipulated intelligence. (Senator, the documents you are bullshitting about ARE EXACTLY THAT EVIDENCE. Congratulations. You have just become another co-defendant in US vs Bush.)
Congressman John Conyers is leading two
petition letter drives in the US House to demand accountability from the White House for its actions. The letter writing campaign continues. So we stoke the embers. It's getting warmer. But it needs fuel. It needs legs. It needs something between those legs.
It needs... Good Ol' American Marketing ! Alliteration ! ! Shit That Rhymes ! ! ! Candy, Candy,
Candy ! ! ! !
So how about it Kossacks?
How we gonna sex this baby up so it it hits that all-important pleasure center in the American brain?
I humbly suggest shiny wrapping paper, with extra sugar and sprinkles.
Send your next email to Wolf Blitzer or LTE to the local free weekly with one of these handy-dandy headlines, or invent your own. It's Fun! It's Easy!! You'll Lose Weight and Get Younger!!!
Drowning in Doubletalk; Dubya's Downing Documents Debacle
Condi's Comments Conclusively Crap
Shock And Awe Broke The Law
WMD: The New LSD?
Rove:Rummy's Raid To Rig Republican Returns
Mission Accomplished; Democracy Demolished!
Iraq A Wreck!! Downing Documents Detail Deadly Decisions...
McCain Mumbles "Memo", Manhandles Media
Congress Cowers As Crimes Continue
Batches? We Doan Need No Steenkin'Batches!
...and maybe, someday...
Downing Drowns Dubya Dictatorship
Cheney In Chains!!
