I'm the pastor at a liberal, mainline congregation deep in the burbs of Greater Vancouver. I'm not accustomed to getting wingnut materials in the mail, so imagine my arched eyebrows when I discovered a thick packet from "Focus on the Family Canada." Little did I suspect that lurking deep inside was a DVD which would have the potential to alter my life in profound ways! None of them good, incidentally.
"That Dobson has quite the package!" I thought, unironically, as I opened a folder full of posters, bulletin inserts, press releases, sample letters to MPS and newspapers, tips for doing talk radio, a petition form, and a DVD entitled, ominously, "Marriage in Jeopardy." Yes, it all had to do with opposing the amendments to the
Marriage Act currently before the Canadian Parliament. These would extend to all gays and lesbians in Canada the right to marry that already over 80% of them enjoy because of changes to provincial statutes.
The cover letter began:
Dear Leader:
Many in your church are asking, 'Can marriage be saved?' [hm, nobody's asked me that - how peculiar]. The answer is YES, but we must act now. Even as you read this letter the wheels are in motion as legislation redefining marriage is moving through Parliament ["shit, I liked to grease them a little, it's been over a year," I thought].
Preserving God's standard for marriage [polygamy, a la David and Solomon, perchance?] - the joining together of a man and a woman - and putting a stop to the government's steady, threatening, and ominous erosion of religious freedom demands we act now [what?! Pastors forced to perform same-sex unions?! Next thing you know, they'll be forcing us to marry divorced persons or people who won't do marriage prep classes!]. Blah blah blah blah [sorry, I started losing interest rapidly]
"Oooo, what fun!" The wingnuts know they've lost the gay marriage battle in Canada, and still they're puring money and energy - mostly American money and energy - into flogging this dead horse. I immediately went over to another priest's house to enjoy an evening of martinis and watching the DVD for the purposes of mocking it.
"Oh, Father, I don't think I have the heart to watch it," my pal said, when I brandished the DVD. In truth, I was beginning to get steamed as well. I'm gay and so is my friend and a lot of our ministry has been spent in battling homophobia in the church and in society. This sort of thing isn't really that entertaining for us, I guess. So we watched DVDs of "Family Guy" and "South Park" instead. But I kept the thing around thinking I may just be liquored up enough one day - or, conversely, sober enough - to watch the damn thing.
But before I could, I got a more ominous letter in the mail.
Dear Friends,
We have learned that some of the DVDs we have provided in our Marriage Action Kits are defective and could seriously harm your computer. Please do not use these DVDs under any circumstances!
HAH! My sincere congratulations to the queer monkey-wrencher who no doubt fucked these things up at the manufacturer's end of things. Your bravery in making FOTFC look foolish and incompetent is to be commedned.
And thanks to my friend for convincing me not to watch the hate-fest when I had the chance.