I have obtained a copy of the new Canons of Ethics that will be given to Bush Administration officials next week. I received this on background from one of my super duper top secret sources...
Canon #1: When all else fails, bring up 9/11.
Canon #2: Remind people that our efforts in the War on Terra will bring lasting change in the Middle East.
Canon #3: Remind Americans that united we stand.
Canon #4: When questions about problems in Iraq arise, accuse the questioner of supporting the murder and torture of innocents by Saddam Hussein?
Canon #5: Attack ads rock when properly framed!
Canon #6: When you don't understand something, don't be too proud to ask questions.
Canon #7: Always plan your work.
Canon #8: Universal rules for dealing with the press:
Dodge, dive, dip, duck, Dodge!!!
Canon #9: Reach out and touch somebody's hand...
Canon #10: Learn sign language so that you can communicate the Bush Administration's message to the hearing impaired.
Canon #11: When you are misquoted by the media, set the record straight.
Canon #12: Accessorize when necessary.