Liberty and Uncle Sam are finally calling it quits. Once, the world thrilled to stories of their legendary romance, but in recent years, their relationship has degenerated into a tempestuous and uneasy marriage. Libby claims that "she's suffered enough abuse" and is leaving her NYC perch to visit her sister Justice in The Hague. Justice is still on the rebound after having suffered a similarly traumatic breakup with the Constitution in 2000.
"He used to be so sweet", lamented Lady Liberty. "You should have seen him when he was younger. He used to say that if he couldn't have me, he'd rather have death! He told me that he was going to take me all over the world. He loved to show me off. I really lost my head over him, completely. So much promise... so many hopes and beautiful dreams of the future... now lay in tatters."
The last straw for Liberty was finding Uncle Sam
in bed with Tyranny in Cuba. "Look, I know that Sam has always had a wandering eye... I'm not naive. I've forgiven him for his many lapses with Hypocrisy... because he used to show remorse and promise to do better. But now that he's taken up with that skank [Tyranny], all he does is
rationalize his bad behavior. So, I'm packing my bags. It's me or her: he can't have us both!".
Friends of the couple have been seeing this coming for years. "Sam's out of control.", said Law... a longtime friend of Sam's... but one who's been scorned by him in recent years. "He's been going out and getting drunk with Power, looking for fights. It must be some kind of midlife crisis."
Other friends agree: "He really changed after his heart attack in September of 2001. At first it looked like he was becoming more reflective... and we were really supportive... but then he just went wild. He turned on his oldest friends and started acting paranoid. Some stood by him, but he wouldn't listen to any of us. It was scary to see him flipping out. And Liberty's such a doll... but she's high maintenance - and he isn't prepared to do what it takes to keep her."
When asked if she'd ever return, Liberty sighed: "He'd really have to change... but I'd love to see that happen. You know, I'll always carry a torch for him".
