Recently, I've noticed that more than 10% of the diaries here have been thoughtful reflections on the state of American politics, rather than mere crazed rantings.
This must stop. At this rate, we are in danger of having logic break out.
Towards this end, I present the following instructional points on how to be a left wing nut.
More. . .
How to be a left wing nut.
- Cast your net as wide as possible. Don't condemn just fundamentalists, neo-cons, or corporate lobbyists. Attack all Republicans and Conservatives, otherwise you risk splitting the opposition.
- Use insulting language as much as possible. Say "rethuglican" instead of "Republican". Remember, we don't want their votes -- they're not pure enough.
- Cursing is always a great way to attract people on the margin.
- Today's ally is tomorrow's enemy. Just because he voted with you the last 50 times, if he's against the National Organic Tofu Act of 2005 that makes him worse than the Karl Rove.
- It's much purer to attack your allies who stray ocassionally than your enemies. Once you've disposed of all the good guys, then you can start in on the bad ones.
- Take extreme positions. Who ever said public policy was about compromise? Plus, with extreme positions you don't risk ever actually achieving anything.
- Live in fantasyland. Shout if we can just get Brian Williams to say "Downing Street Memo" they'll be impeaching Bush in the streets and Howard Dean will be President!
- Don't read the newspaper, listen to the radio, or watch TV. You can get all the facts you need from www.DownWithTheFascistDemocrats.com. Nobody cares if you know the difference between the House and the Senate, Afghanistan and Iraq, or Shields and Gigot.
- No matter how many issues you agree with someone on, if you look hard enough you can always find grounds for disagreement.
- Remember the left wing creed -- it's always better to lose than to win!
