In a stunning move, special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has called off his investigation into the Plame manner. The reason? Redundant diaries on Daily Kos.
More on the flip.
An obviously exhausted and disgruntled Fitzgerald made his announcement today. "I was reading my favorite blog, Daily Kos" Fitzgerald said, "and i just got fucking sick of reading about Karl Rove. Over and over again, the same speculation, the same questions, the same polls, the same refutations of the same facts. The same points being made over and over and over again. I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't even want to see the NAME Karl Rove anymore, much less investigate whether or not he disclosed the name of a CIA agent, leading to her outing, and the loss of a potential asset in the war on terror. Tomorrow, I'm moving to Mexico, where I've been assured there is no one who goes by the name Karl Rove."
Fitzgerald said the straw that broke the camel's back was a diary by one user with the name "SoWhatIfIt'sRedunantI'veOnlyPostedOneDiarySoFarToday."
Here is that diary, in its entirety
So...Karl Rove is a bastard. FROGMARCH. Who is he covering for??? BUSH SUCKS.
.
Said Fitzgerald. "I mean people aren't even using sentences anymore. And it's a shame too. Cause I really had the bastard nailed. I mean he was completely screwed. Oh well...guess I'll go play golf or something."
A shocked and hurt SoWhatIfIt'sRedunantI'veOnlyPostedOneDiarySoFarToday, who goes by the acronym SWIIRIOPODSFT, said "I was just trying to get my two cents in. I know everything I said had been said before, but I hadn't said it before. Today. Well I said it this morning, but I hadn't said it this afternoon yet. And hey...it's better than talking about Bush blowing up London right?"
Other Dkos users, while sad and outraged at the abrupt end to the investigation, expressed relief that their diaries were not the ones that caused Fitzgerald to snap. Said another user "You know, I really knew that I shouldn't have written my 15th diary on Karl Rove, but I figured, 'you know what, that camel can take at LEAST 2 more straws'. And I was right. Because the very next diary was SWIIRIOPODSFT's. It could have been me man. It could have been me."