I give up. You win. I welcome our new wingnut overlords. The actual arguments make no sense, but you know what--you guys sure are heartfelt and dedicated. You just have to respect someone who can hold that many nonsensical talking points together and vehemently spout them on demand, with no pesky cognition getting in the way.
I am speaking in sarcastic generalities of course, but I do want to focus on one specific bit of illogic that has found its way into the underbelly of the ongoing right-wing Cindy Sheehan smear. Feel free to add your own favorites.
In the bizarro world where wingnuts are seen as self-made rational paragons of virtue and liberals are all wealthy raving latte-sipping gay lunatic America-hating traitors, the grieving mother of a fallen soldier protesting the war in which her son died is seen as a crass opportunist. She's
exploiting that poor dead boy for her own
partisan cause! How horrible! What a ghoul! blah blah blah. If you don't believe me that people would actually say things like this, then I respect your high opinion of humanity. You'd also
still be wrong.
Sorry, come again.
Now, in my misshapen liberal mind, it seems to me that Cindy's loss is the very reason for and drive behind her 'agenda' in the first place. It informs her convictions, and gives her strength, and an excellent reason to push for what she thinks is both right and best for the country. So if you don't want to be an evil ghoulish liberal freak like me, here's the new rule: people can only legitimately champion causes that don't have anything to do with them.
- only people who haven't lost loved ones can protest the war
- only people who haven't served can push for war
- only people who have never smoked can fight lung cancer
- only the comfortable, well-off majority can fight poverty and racism
- only non-scientists can determine what a science cirriculum should contain
- only straight couples can speak for gay couples
- only Christians can decide what is offensive to other religions and beliefs
- only men can decide what a woman's rights to choose to have an abortion are
...Hey, maybe I'm on to something here--this might go over quite well with the wingnuts! It fits right in with the rest of the inverted pyramid of illogic. Or maybe they beat me to it...