After the radical Christian cleric Pat Robertson made statements urging the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez Frias there were two somewhat realistic lanes of just recourse that would have at least brought a meager amount of satisfaction to those appalled by Robertson's statements:
- He (Robertson) could have issued an unconditional apology to Mr. Chavez coupled with the unequivocal admission that what he called for was morally reprehensible and un-Christian.
- The United States government could have issued a blunt and no-nonsense repudiation of Robertson's comments.
Unfortunately those lanes just ain't gonna pan out in these United States, so what do we do? Find out after the flip...
- He (Robertson) could have issued an unconditional apology to Mr. Chavez coupled with the unequivocal admission that what he called for was morally reprehensible and un-Christian. No one had their fingers crossed for that one, and of course Robertson only recanted in his trademark slippery and dishonest fashion, mumbling something about the AP taking his words out of context or misstating him or something. Obviously even his supposed recant was little more than an outright lie inserting itself forcibly into a dodge of the issue at hand (his un-Christian remarks) while they were both tied to a barb assailed at the Liberal Media. Instead of actually apologizing, Robertson leaped upon the chance to take a stab at people who merely objectively reported the facts--ever his detractors. Well, so much for Pat.
- The United States government could have issued a blunt and no-nonsense repudiation of Robertson's comments. President Bush, who is closely alligned (separated at the ballot box) with Mr. Robertson could have taken the chance to clearly state that despite their friendship and scarily close political ties, his administration was in stark opposition to the forcible or violent removal of any foreign head of state. Ahem...well...at least by means of assassination. Though a somewhat far-out possibility for the evangelical president, it would have seemed to have been the statesmanlike thing to do, at least to any rational observer. Then again Bush owes as much to Robertson as he does to the disenfranchisement of poor folks and black folks in Florida and Ohio, he sure ain't no Jack Kennedy, and "rational?" Ha, Bush knows not the meaning of the word. Instead we got a tepid response from Rummy and some PR stooge. Not even the usual cock and bull from Bush's
flying monkey press secretary, Scotty McClellan.
As we all know, if any high-profile (or otherwise publicized) Islamic cleric in Chicago had issued a fatwa against the Right Honourable Tony Blair MP for his nation's actions in Iraq, the historical clusterfuck that was the British occupation of the Middle East following the first World War, or for the people of Britian condoning Paul McCartney's behavior the past three decades, said cleric would have been incarcerated with extreme PATRIOTic prejudice. Thrown into a federal penitentiary for "questioning" with a cat of nine-tails, and followed up by a strip tease complete with a Quran burning as the climax. Then he would have been forgotten about until some district judge from Illinois finally caved into a lawsuit brought by the ACLU and the Communist Party of the United States.
Robertson sits comfortably and not at all humbly in his Christ-fueled Babylonian luxury as Young Conservatives and doctor killers in training massage his asshole with their tongues, completely untouched and unmoved by the political maelstrom he has unleashed, with the safety of the knowledge that Bush jumps Double Dutch for the Religious Right.
The already demonized Chavez government, still understandably sore and arguably rightfully paranoid after the 2002 coup attempt which the US sponsored (or was at the very least, party to) grows ever more weary of the Bush administration, as high-profile citizens with widespread political clout such as Robertson are able to get away with suggesting that the US assassinate the popular leader of a democratic nation with nary a "Bad Pat!" from the President of the United States of America, George W. Bush. <South Park> Land of the free indeed. </South Park>
It's all very disheartening:
Hypocrisy.
Double standards.
Organized religion.
There's no justice it seems, sometimes, unfortunately for those of us on the left this is so often the case and "sometimes" is more like almost always.
But wait!
It's not the case in this situation.
Forget about Robertson trying to make amends and admitting mistake. His sanctimony and base contraventions of enlightened decency know little about boundaries. Get your heads out of the clouds with those fantastic hopes that Bush will come down and take a hard stance in opposition to his buddy's ignorant and prehistoric (and dare I say------fascist?) comments! Bush's political legacy and foolheaded pride, not to mention the continued neo-con/theo-con alliance to dismantle progressive and liberal achievements of the last century in the United States mandate that he simply distance himself from Robertson's comments by way of reminding the people of the United States of the vague myth of American Nobility. He can't tear down Robertson's attack on Chavez, he can't even chide him! He cannot actually say anything that would make it seem like he actually disagrees with Pat. And, you know, if he did, he'd probably be lying.
Whew! Almost lost my point. Now, on to the HOPE!
As the former patron jerk of an insidious organization with well over two million members and as the current host of the widely viewed 700 Club -not to mention all of the powerful positions he has held in the past and those which he still holds at current- Pat Robertson realizes the importance of making it seem like the product he's pushing (Jesus/Hatred) is accessible to even those who cannot sign away their savings to the Christian Coalition or the Robertson Youth.
The guy's got a 1-800 number.
Well, more specifically, the 700 Club does.
From their website:
" Counseling Referrals
The 700 Club Prayer Counselors are available 24 hours a day and seven days a week. If you need prayer, please call (800) 759-0700."
That's 1-800-759-0700!
Hey, it might not hurt a whole lot, but the calls are on Pat's dime.
If we've got the means to assassinate the guy's wallet, or at least take potshots, then I think it is our duty as upstanding, free citizens of the United States of America to call the 700 Club's Prayer Counseling Line and ask them to help us pray for Hugo Chavez, for God to protect Hugo from evil men like George W. Bush and M.G. "Pat" Robertson.
But, let us hate the sin and love the sinner! Pray for Pat too, ask the counselors for help in exorcising the evil spirits from Mr. Robertson's dark and black, pit-like soul.
And, when you're done, post transcripts of the calls!
Special thanks to kynn from my livejournal friends page for bringing this idea to my attention!