As much as he damages the fabric of America on a daily basis, I really do love the comedy of Bill O'Reilly. It's not necessarily intentional comedy, but it's hilarious nonetheless, because he's just SUCH a fool. And anyone who knows comedy understands that a fool that point blank refuses to learn his lessons, is the grandest comedy of all.
Today's chapter in the Why Bill O'Reilly is a Clown (to borrow a David Brooks phrase) is his boycott of the state of Vermont.
On the O'Reilly factor website (which is, incidentally, the #1 spot on any Google search for 'terrorist sympathizer'), he's running a poll right now:
If Judge Cashman is not removed from hearing criminal cases, will you boycott Vermont?
Background follows:
Judge Cashman is a Vermont judge who heard a recent case involving the molestation of a child. He opted against a lenghty prison term, reasoning that such a term wouldn't include treatment for the offender, and thus it was counterproductive.
From the O'Reilly website:
Under Vermont law, only repeat sex offenders, people who molest their own children or those with prior criminal records, can receive sex offender treatment while in prison. Since Mark Hulett didn't fall under these categories, he was deemed "low-risk" and wasn't eligible for in-prison treatment. Cashman said since Hulett wouldn't receive in-prison treatment, he should serve only 60 days. The judge wrote if Hulett spent a long time in prison without treatment, he'd eventually come out a "hardened, untreated sex offender" who would be "alienated from the fundamental social values we are trying to promote." Cashman said the 8 years sought by the prosecutor was "self-defeating." He believed giving Hulett only 60 days would allow him to begin treatment immediately upon release. This approach would "respect the dignity" of Hulett so he could "achieve [his] successful return" to the community. The judge wrote that his sentence "respects the individuality of the defendant," who "stands before the court as a human being, not as a stereotype." Cashman called his sentence "a fair and rational approach to provide Mr. Hulett with a meaningful opportunity to reform." Cashman also concluded that his sentence saves the state money: "If a well supervised probation scheme, with a much reduced cost, can protect us as well as close custody incarceration can, this option should be available."
Now, I'm no fan of sex offenders, but this judgement seems to make a lot of sense. In prison, the defendant gets no treatment to stop him molesting again. Outside prison, he can be ordered to undergo treatment. The best of a bad situation under Vermont law, as far as I can tell, especially if the role of prison time is to rehabilitate and not be used as vengeance.
Anyway, O'Reilly sends a producer out to the guy's house and they camp on his front step, call him, knock on his door, and refuse to leave until he talks to them. So he goes one better and invites them inside to hear his side.
Again, from O'Reilly's website:
When I got into the judge's living room, his phone rang. When the judge didn't answer the phone, his answering machine went on and a message started playing out loud: "This message is for Judge Cashman. You've got to hope none of your daughters ever get hurt and I hope they never get a judge like you. Because it's unbelievable to let a rapist of children go. You're just a despicable man. May you rot in hell." Everyone in the room fell silent. Cashman and I just stared at each other. He then began to explain himself.
"Eight out of ten people that come into criminal court just did some stupid thing and got caught," he said. "They're embarrassed as hell and they just want to get out of there as quickly as possible. You know the type because you saw them in high school. They're into drugs, into alcohol, have multiple children from multiple relationships... but you need to have empathy. Reasonable people some times make irrational decisions. We all do it. It's not an 'us against them' mentality anymore. At one point in my career I was all about 'just desserts.' It may feel good to knock someone over the head with a 2x4 like John Wayne but it's not productive."
Cashman continued, "I don't mean to get biblical, but you can see it in their eyes. I've been a judge for a long time and you can tell who's scary and who just made a mistake. Locking everyone up is expensive. We're all in this together." I asked him if he agreed with Jessica's Law, a 25-year mandatory minimum sentence for first time felony sex crime convictions against minors, and he replied, "No... there are too many dimensions and gradations to molestation cases. It's a bad idea."
I thanked him for the coffee and left the house.
Now, if at this point you're thinking this is remarkably even-handed, guess again. What surrounds these passages on O'Reilly's site are comments from locals, like the unnmaed woman who says "I'm pregnant and due in June. I honestly fear for my baby's life," etc.
The judge's words indicate he's thought hard about this, and while his decision isn't popular, as a man looking to right a wrong, he's done what he sees as reasonable, fair, and most productive for the state and it's citizens. But that's not good enough for O'Reilly. He wants this judge taken out.
So he gets a right wing Senator to come on his show and bitch about the decision, who then goes out and introduces a resolution calling on the judge to resign.
Again, from O'Reilly's site:
Vermont Governor Jim Douglas (R) stated, "A criminal court judge who no longer believes in punishment should consider a career change or retirement." But Judge Cashman filed an order with the court and stuck by his 60 day sentence. "...I am aware that the intensity of some public criticism may shorten my judicial career. To change my decision now, however, simply because of some negative sentiment, would be wrong. I owe it to the judiciary and to my own conscience to maintain a stand that I believe is the best possible option in a very difficult situation."
Mexican stand-off. So what does O'Reilly do to raise the stakes? He busts out the good old reliable 'boycott'.
O'Reilly's poll again:
If Judge Cashman is not removed from hearing criminal cases, will you boycott Vermont?
Of course, we don't know what the results are, because O'Reilly refuses to let the peoplpe voting in his polls see the results. This allows him to make them up if they don't go his way.
But here's the punchline to this sad, sorry joke - a note added to O'Reilly's site at 11am this morning:
Jan-19-2006
No Vermont boycott
To be clear, The Factor is not calling for a boycott of Vermont or Vermont's products. We're even encouraging viewers and listeners to buy Vermont Teddy Bears, because that company's support for us allows us to campaign for justice.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!
"BOYCOTT VERMONT! (only, don't, because one of the few advertisers we have left sells teddy bears through our website)."