Frankly, the best part of Pagegate is that it's
absolutely friggin' hysterical. This douchebag had the gall to chastize Clinton for the Lewinsky mess, and here he is doing something far, far worse.
So I've been collecting and coming up with jokes about this. Remember, the best way to destroy the Republican party is to turn it into a laughingstock -- so mock early, mock often!
If the old chestnut of "Why don't Republicans use bookmarks?" offends you in any way, shape or form, don't go below the flip.
- Q: Why is a Republican Congressmen like a cel phone set to vibrate? A: They both get a little buzz when a page comes in.
- Did you know Republicans are avid readers? They always head right to the bottom of the page!
- While Jerry Falwell has openly pushed for breaking down the barriers between Church and State, I'm pretty sure when he said it he was thinking about the Baptist Church.
- Why is the Republican's exclusion of the Left from power the cause of Pagegate? Because when you take "No Left" out of the "No Child Left Behind" act, you get the "Child Behind" act.
- What's the GOP stand for? Groping Our Pages? Geezers Overtly Propositioning?
- Q: What's the difference between Republican Legislators and Michael Jackson? A: Michael can sing.
- Mark Foley, chair of the Council for Missing and Exploited Children, also thinks the job of the the Fire Department is to set fires.
- The Florida Republicans will nominate a replacement for Foley on the ballot, but they're having a tough time choosing between candidates Pete O'File, Ann De'rage, and Val Celine.
- This whole sordid episode gives new meaning to Republicans as the "Daddy Party".
- This whole sordid episode also gives new meaning to Republicans as the "Party of Lincoln".