New Bush Iraq war plan calls for "benchmarks" that will dictate the rate of US troop withdrawal. (CBS News 10/22) So many by Rumsfeld's resignation... So many by Cheney's indictment... so many by Bush's impeachment... and so on...
"When there's more troops present, there's more chance of casualties," said the commander of the US 172nd "Stryker Brigade." (USA Today 10/20) 85th "Stating the Patently Obvious Battalion."
Iraq's top US general Casey says, "'Operation Together Forward' has not met our overall expectations." (USA Today 10/20) Wait 'til he sees "Operation Impeach the Commander-in-chief."
Q: What's the Spanish word for "700 mile fence"? Give up? Answer below the fold...
A: "Clothesline."
An Israeli jet fired on a German warship patrolling off the coast of Lebanon. (USA Today 10/26) They should have known better than to name it the "Bismark."
A new study shows that an average driver could save $396 per year on gasoline expenses by losing 100 pounds. (USA Today 10/25) Researchers studied Mafia drivers with and without a body in the trunk.
Rush Limbaugh accused Michael J. Fox of "going off his meds" before appearing in a Democratic campaign commercial. (USA Today 10/25) Hey, if anyone is an expert on meds, it's Rushbo.
Two paintings missing from Harvard University for thirty years have been found and returned. (Associated Press 10/24) Renoir's "Two Little Lambs Who Have Gone Astray" and Van Gogh's "The Table Down at Morrie's."
Britions appear to be split over whether Muslim women should be allowed to wear veils in government offices. (USA Today 10/23) They split about the same as they do on the question of requiring Camilla Parker-Bowles to wear one.
Frito-Lay unveiled a new line of health-conscious snacks called "Flat Earth." (USA Today 10/23)
Soon to be followed by "Intelligent Design," "UFO" and "Bible Science."
A high-ranking State Department diplomat says "The US is ready to talk to any group except al Qaida." (Associated Press 10/22) And possibly that gang on "The View."
A top State Department diplomat told an Arab news service that "There was arrogance and stupidity from the US in Iraq." (Associated Press 10/22) He's been reassigned to investigate prisoner abuse at Guantanamo----from the inside.
The GOP has spent more than $3 million to retain the seat of disgraced congressman Bob Ney. (Associated Press 10/22) Bob has even tossed some of his bribes into the pot.
A visitor at Crater of Diamonds State Park in Murfreesboro, Arkansas found a 5.47 caret diamond. (Associated Press 10/22) It was on the finger of another visitor, but still...
Bush aides insist that he won't retreat from his vision of a united, stable, secure, and democratic Iraq. (Associated Press 10/21) You know, like we have.
Wesley Snipes has been located in Namibia working on a movie. (Associated Press 10/21) "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Tax Avoidance But Were Afraid to Ask."
Haley Joel Osment was sentenced on drunk driving and drug possession charges. (Associated Press 10/21) "I see probation officers... "
Bush names new chief of the Department of Mine Safety. (USA Today 10/20) Michael Brown with a canary on his shoulder.
The traditional brass urns which hold cremated human remains are being replaced by picture frames, pendants, wind chimes, sundials and even Teddy Bears. (USA Today 10/20) You can even have your loved one turned into a bag of barbecue briquettes.
Excerpted from www.Bereftontheleft.blogspot.comnh
See also www.hope-writer.blogspot.com