Crossposted from MY LEFT WING
Art courtesy of dhonig, of Hypnocrites...
I won't read Bob Woodward anymore, no matter how hard he may hit Bush & Co. (and I'm not entirely convinced his latest, State of Denial, is as "hard-hitting" as some would have me believe. But I digress...)
I won't read Woodward because it's too little too motherfucking late, in my estimation. Bob Woodward is a skanky, pathetic, self-serving, self-obsessed, bizarrely vain attention whore utterly devoid of even a microscopic hint of morals, ethics, standards, principles or values.
But let's move on to the skanky fucksnot's latest literary offering, shall we? Just because I haven't read it and won't doesn't mean there isn't SOMEONE out there willing to sacrifice his peace of mind and undergo nausea and sleeplessness for the good of us all...
My pals at Pajiba also run
Quiz Law, a legally-oriented site that combines the dishy tone of Pajiba and its ilk with a pretty goddamned good legal analysis of the hot topics du jour.
Pajiba's very select blogroll includes their individual critics' blogs, as well as frothy gossipy sites that offer a much-needed and entertaining respite from the 365-24-7 life o'political junkie that some of us may find familiar...
There's a television critic, who I swear to GOD must NEVER sleep. There are the occasional guest contributors (I have been known to review a kiddie flick or three there, myself). Dustin Rowles, the magnificent editor-in-chief, has also been dabbling in lengthy interviews with filmmakers themselfves.
In all, Pajiba is a marvelous and wide-ranging site devoted to pop culture and... politics. It's not very subtle, but definitely unspoken: the dudes and occasional dudettes of Pajiba are most surely liberals in their politics as well as their film viewing habits.
Pajiba also has a book dude.The book dude is Orlando Bishop -- aka the New Millennium Nigga, per his site, The Musings of a New Millennium Nigga. NMN has posted his take on the 60 Minutes Bob Woodward interview, which he undertook, naturally, to hawk his newest Bush tome, State of Denial.
Here's a taste:
America is safer than ever, thanks to George W. Bush. I can see that now. Up until yesterday, I was unclear. But now I have seen the light. And that is why I am telling you, sir, to Zip It!
Zip up those Ziploc bags when you get on a plane. I was at the airport, in a security line longer than the ever-changing list of reasons that have been offered up for going into Iraq, and I saw a woman volunteer the information that she had some lip gloss in her bag. Lip gloss! Well, the TSA officer explained to her that he would have to take her lip gloss -- given the new airline restrictions about fluids going on planes. He went on to explain that if she had placed the lip gloss in a Ziploc bag, he would have been able to let the lip gloss through to its final destination.
That's all we have to do as Americans is Zip It. Zip up those iron-clad, explosion-proof Ziploc bags and we will be safe from the terrorists who -- as our President loves to remind us -- want to hurt your family. (Your family, Mr. Woodward! Boogedy, boogedy!)
God knows that no terrorist would have time during a five hour cross-country flight to open a hermetically sealed Ziploc bag and unleash the terror that is MAC's Full for You Lipglass. Why wouldn't you forego the opportunity to see full, beautiful, shimmering lips if it could save American lives, Mr. Woodward? Why?! Isn't your family worth it?
Not having had the chance to sleep on the Ziploc Anti-Terrorism Defense System, I even found myself being stopped by the TSA. You see, Mrs. NMN and I had brought apple sauce and chocolate pudding for the Niglets to eat on the five-and-a-half hour flight from Hartford, CT to Los Angeles, CA. Well, they informed us that they were not supposed to let those things through. They explained that had the containers actually said "Baby Food," and not simply been food for babies, it would have been fine. (That, of course, makes sense because any old terrorist could whip up a batch of American hate and put it in a sealed plastic container, but who in the world could possibly get past a label that said "baby food." No criminal mind could possibly clear that hurdle.)
Luckily, a supervisor came over and grandly said he would allow two of the six containers of apple sauce through, but neither of the containers of chocolate pudding. [Note: That didn't seem at all arbitrary.] Mrs. NMN was upset. You don't want to mess with the Niglets, if you know what's good for you. And she was being told that her babies would be screaming bloody murder for a good part of the flight, because they would be hungry. Backing her up -- and frankly, still stuck in my naïve pre-9/11 mindset -- I said, "I know this is your job, but this is ridiculous." My wife repeated the sentiment. Then I said it again as my kids' pudding was taken away and America was made safer. Apparently, my observation that their policies and decisions made no sense to me and were thus worthy of ridicule made the aforementioned apple sauce more dangerous than ever, because the supervisor turned and said, "If you keep saying that it's ridiculous, I won't let any of them through."
And then, it hit me. It's not just the Ziploc bags that are to be zipped, Mr. Woodward. It is indeed, also our lips. It was not enough that I acknowledged that it was the message and not the messenger that I found ridiculous. I see that now. If we are true Americans -- good Americans --enemies of the terrorists who want to hurt your family (Your family, Mr. Woodward! Boogedy, boogedy!) then we must zip our lips. Democracy is only safe in this world if the electorate is silent and never questions.
. . .
My response to NMN's piece:
Oh, my darling man. Sheer brilliance. That is all I have to say about this and about you, at this moment.
I will, however, volunteer the fact that I was one of the many women traveling this past August who lost her motherfucking lip gloss to this latest abomination of a step toward complete corporate and political fascism in this godforsaken country.
That's right -- an eight dollar lip gloss, confiscated in the name of ostensible security, a double-dare to an American citizen: gonna speak up? Is it worth a full body search? A complete ransacking of all your luggage? A terrifying delay for your 6 year old, a probable missed flight? Hmm? Better keep your mouth shut, lady -- we're in the process of building a covertly fascist state, here -- and your lip gloss is just a microscopic example of everything you're giving up along the way.
Thanks for playing. Watch your mouth, keep your head down, don't even THINK about giving us a nasty look -- and we might just let you get all the way through to your destination without removing your shoes more than a couple times.
As good as the excerpt is, the essay in its entirety is, as I commented, sheer brilliance. PLEASE do go read the whole thing, titled Zip It...
UPDATE
As usual, there are some people who would rather take issue with the peripheral commentary than actually take the time to go to the review itself and fucking read it. Ah, well. So it goes.
Look, bitch at me for my use of language all you like -- derail any possible discussion of the ACTUAL topics, hijack away. This is DKos, after all, and unlike MLW, it has no "Don't be a schmuck" rule.
Just be aware, please, that if you DO choose to hijack and derail any possible discussion with your diversionary tactics -- you ARE being a schmuck. At least for the moment.
THE POINT OF THIS POST IS TO DIRECT YOU TO THE REVIEW AT PAJIBA. PERIOD.
But hey, whatever, man -- do what you gotta do.