[] Says Joe Klein in Time Magazine: "Bush's decision to delay the sacking of Rumsfeld until after the election will undoubtedly stand as one of his greatest mistakes." Second only to saying "I do" on January 2, 2000.
[] Newsweek Magazine says Rove was so confident of victory he planned to convene a panel of Republican political scientists to determine why the polls were so wrong. Instead, he's convened a panel of Republican proctologists to examine his newly-reamed anal oriface.
[] Rumsfeld is considering various employment options following his tenure as Defense Secretary. Aides say he'll probably accept a professorship at West Point teaching Shock & Awe 1-A.
To be continued post-fold...
[] Bush is visiting Asia this week, stopping first in Vietnam. Until now, his closest contact with Hanoi has been his hatred of Jane Fonda.
[] Gerald Ford has passed Ronald Reagan as the US president who has lived the longest. And he's still remarkably sharp for his age. He remembers everything except pardoning Nixon.
[] The "Virtual Global Task Force" is a new international police unit formed to track down internet pedophiles. So far, all their leads have led to the Vatican.
[] A judge in Batavia, Illinois has refused to halt a high school production of "Fuggegeddaboutit ---- A Little Mob Comedy" after the Order of the Sons of Italy protested. Nothing new here. Last year, they produced a takeoff on "Grease" called "Greaseballs."
[] Texas Tech coach Bobby Knight insists he was "lifting Michael Prince's chin, not slapping him." You know, like George Patton lifted the chin of that shell shocked private.
[] Black Christmas trees are all the rage this holiday season. So much so, there's a shortage of skulls to hang on them.
[] The Marine Corps' "Toys For Tots" program has reconsidered after turning down a donation of 4000 talking Jesus dolls. Problem was, the little guy speaks in rap.
[] Wal Mart will soon begin selling wine. As soon as they can figure out how to produce it in a sweatshop.
[] Divers off the coast of Spain have discovered clay jugs that held a shipment of fish sauce bound for the Roman Empire in the first century. Some with their labels still attached ---- "Benihana of Thebes."
[] KFC's Colonel Sanders has shed his white coat for an apron ---- only the company's fourth logo change in 50 years. Last one was when they took the axe out of his hand.
[] China will soon enforce a "one dog per family" policy. That's "per family," mind you, not "per meal."
[] A list of World War II veterans in a Taylor County, Georgia government building is broken down into "Whites" and "Blacks." The whites are further broken down into "light" rednecks and "dark" rednecks.
[] Andy Griffith has sued Harold Fenrick for changing his name to Andrew Griffith to run for sheriff of Madison, Wisconsin. Luckily, Harold's son Opie is a lawyer.
[] Former pitcher Dwight Gooden was released from prison after serving nine months of a year's sentence for a parole violation. The judge decided to pull him when it was clear he was tiring and losing his stuff.
[] Denise Richards, filming a movie in Canada, threw a laptop off a balcony at a photographer who was stalking her. Luckly, Denise had purchased the Toshiba "Lensbuster 9000."
[] The airlines are currently losing 33% more luggage than last year. On the plus side, passengers are now being offered duty-free clothes.
[] The United Nations has voted Norway the "Best nation to live in," followed by Finland and Australia. The US ranked eighth after Ireland, Sweden, Canada and Japan. On the plus side, America was named "Best banana republic to live in."
[] The state of Texas has executed 24 people so far this year. In fact, they have an offer on the table to do Saddam.
Excerpted from www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com
See also www.hope-writer.blogspot.com