(From the diaries because it's fun whenever dumbass conservatives are exposed for their dumbassery -- kos)
Heckuva thing---apparently this blog imploded last summer. I know this because I read it in a column.
According to his bio, Noel Sheppard is an economist, business owner, and contributor to NewsBusters, American Thinker, and RealClearPolitics. One thing he knows is how to read tea leaves, as he did with stunning accuracy on June 5th (emphasis mine, because I’m so damn good at it):
[T]he tea leaves are actually looking much redder than [the media] are asserting regardless of President Bush's slumping poll numbers... Republicans have a marvelous win-win national strategy that is sure to resound with an overwhelming majority of conservatives and moderates who are expressing displeasure with their elected officials: "Vote Republican and not only do you prevent Nancy Pelosi from becoming Speaker of the House, but you will also be assisting in her termination as Minority Leader."
That’s not the implosion part, obviously. I quoted that just so you’ll know that Mr. Sheppard is a prognosticator who is not to be trifled with. Building on his amazing psychic abilities, he published his piece d’ resistance (from the French: “piece of crap”) one month later, predicting that our home on the “Tubes!” would soon become a ghost town. Let’s see how that worked out...
The July 12 column by Mr. Sheppard appeared at Fox”News”.com. Like infants catching a glimpse of Mama’s teat for the first time, their wingnut readers drooled and balled up their fists in glee as soon as they saw the headline: Is the [sic] Daily Kos About to Implode?
It appears that the post-Yearly Kos month from hell is continuing for Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, the proprietor of the Internet's premier liberal blog Daily Kos. After receiving some extremely negative press from major publications such as The New York Times, The New Republic and Newsweek immediately following his seemingly successful bloggers' convention in Las Vegas, Kos is now faced with an even greater challenge: dissension within his ranks.
Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble!
Such internal squabbling comes at the same time that many prominent Democrats seem to be privately expressing concern about the direction the "netroots"---the self-described Internet grassroots movement of liberal bloggers and their loyal followers---are taking the Party. This seemingly inconvenient planetary alignment is not only threatening the long-term viability of this crusade, but also is putting Kos in an uncomfortable position just as his notoriety is skyrocketing.
Mr. Sheppard than presents the iron-clad evidence of our imminent destruction from within: MyDD founder Jerome Armstrong’s alleged financial something-or-other that Kos had absolutely nothing to do with. A diary by Maryscott O’Connor expressing an opinion on an issue (how did we let that slip through?). Op-Idiot columns carved in Mt. Sinai stone by conservative New York Times columnist and spray-on-tan spokesmodel David Brooks and The New Republic’s Jason Zengerle (pronounced “Zen Girl”). Also something about Kos accepting money from candidates in exchange for his support (a non-issue he put to bed long ago), and his grudging opinion that Sherrod Brown might have a better chance than Paul Hackett of beating Ohio Senator Mike DeWine (dammit, another opinion slithers onto the The Daily Kos!).
CAUTION: Swallow any liquid in your mouth before you read this:
All this certainly makes The New Republic's Jason Zengerle, and The New York Times' David Brooks look rather prescient. Yet, these chinks in the armor are much more serious for Markos, as now it is members of his own ranks questioning what kind of clothes the emperor is wearing. And, these folks have truly legitimate concerns about his apparent nudity that can't be so easily brushed aside.
I’m not sure which is worse, Mr. Sheppard congratulating Brooks and Zengerle for being completely wrong, or the image of Markos straddling a mechanical bull singing My Humps naked. Either way, he’s starting to lose me.
As a result, in the two weeks since David Brooks fittingly concluded that Markos "has challenged his enemy and become it," it seems that some of Zuniga's followers are beginning to agree. And, this is threatening an implosion at the House of Kos.
Ah, well played, sir! I salute your classic use of the word “some.” It makes the article’s mention of exactly two Kossacks seem like a civil war of thousands that would put the Shia/Sunni kerfuffle to shame. Somewhere Frank Luntz just had an orgasm.
Not only were the 90-plus thousand members of our online community apparently ready to slice each other to ribbons, said Sheppard, but the grown-ups in D.C. were gearing up to send us to bed without supper:
Further complicating matters is the possibility that Markos and his devotees are wearing out their welcome with the Democrat establishment. Brooks, in a Times op-ed this Sunday entitled "The Liberal Inquisition," made the case that left-wing politicians "privately despise the netroots" due to how vicious they are, but are scared to take positions that might incite their anger. Such fear conceivably makes some of these politicians that are seeking re-election in November, or a presidential nomination in 2008, do things that they otherwise wouldn't.
Yeah, the establishment: James Carville, David Broder and Joe Lieberman. We quake in our jammies.
And what, exactly, were some of the “things” that “politicians” had to “do” that “they” “otherwise” “wouldn’t?” Tell the truth? Differentiate themselves from Republicans? Be candidates of the people instead of the special interests? Blow boogers during debates? (Don’t laugh---we scored 85 percent of the 18-to-20 year-olds because of that.)
Are you getting the feeling that Mr. Sheppard was perhaps writing about some The Daily The Kos in a parallel The universe? You will after this:
These sentiments were echoed by New York Magazine's John Heilemann.
"The sudden Democratic obeisance to the Netroots fills many in the party's centrist cadres with despair bordering on panic---for they see the likes of [MyDD's Matt] Stoller and Moulitsas as 'McGovernites with modems,' in the choice phrase of Marshall Wittman, a Republican apostate now ensconced at the Democratic Leadership Council. More than a few leading GOP lights agree, happily foreseeing the liberal bloggers' leading the opposition down (okay, further down) the primrose path into lefty irrelevance.
Ensconced apostate? Have you tried saw palmetto or cranberry juice for that?
Okay, if you’ve read this far, you deserve a reward. Some sort of payoff that will have made your journey worth your while. Maybe Mr. Sheppard could fire one more bullet at us from his wanker pistol that veers so far off-target that it hits the gas tank on his own Hummer and turns it into charred scrap. Remember, this is from last June:
[I]t is quite possible that the leaders of the Democrats are watching the goings on at Daily Kos the past four weeks secretly enjoying the carnage while hoping that the wheels totally fall off the psychedelic VW bus. After all, the MoveOn.org/Michael Moore left certainly didn't help the Democrats in 2004. Maybe the powers that be are wisely starting to recognize how similarly damaging the Kossacks are to a successful campaign.
You mean like Chuck Schumer, John Edwards, U.S. President Jimmy Carter, John Kerry, Russ Feingold, Wes Clark, Nancy Pelosi, Howard Dean, Barbara Boxer, John Conyers, Louise Slaughter, Harry Reid, and all the other notables who have stopped by to thank us for the way in which we’re helping to reinvigorate the Democratic party from the ground up? Those powers that be?
In the four months since Mr. Sheppard’s column appeared, DailyTheKos has gone from 95,983 registered members to 112,223 (thanks, jotter). Somehow I doubt the 16,240 newbies joined so they could take part in our spectacular implosion. Meanwhile, two weeks ago Democrats lost not a single seat in the House, Senate or Governor’s mansions, while many new progressive leaders were elected who gladly hopped a ride on the “psychedelic VW bus.” The Republican bus, by contrast, sits in their front yard on blocks, its parts stripped long ago by its own occupants and sold to the highest bidder.
I think the moral of this story is clear (and this goes for all you other columnists out there who, like Mr. Sheppard, fail to grasp the nature of blogs so spectacularly): never try to think and masturbate at the same time. Because, man, your blood is not in your brain and you might end up writing something as vapid as Is the [sic] Daily Kos About to Implode?
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