I know this is long and I don't really expect anyone to read all of it. I'm really just writing it to get it off my chest (and to create a record of the saga of this grueling day while it's still fresh in my head).
And, even worse, I'm going to post it and go immediately to bed! I'm very sorry! You can blame Bush. I do.
And that's why I'm posting this here...
1/23/2006, 7:30 AM EST
(approximate transcript of cell phone call, joined in progress
My wife: I miss you too. I know you're in a hurry, so you should talk to Ben [my 5-year-old son] instead of me.
Me: Why?
My wife: Well, he thought you were going to come home last night and so when he woke up this morning and you weren't here, he's been pretty upset.
Me: Put him on.
Ben: Hi daddy.
Me: Hi Ben!
Ben: I miss you daddy!
Me: I miss you too, Ben... very much! And I can't wait to see you tonight!
Ben: Daddy, why didn't you come home last night?
Me: My interview isn't over yet. Remember how we talked about that?
Ben: Yeah... but I thought you said you would see me tomorrow!
Me: I did. And I will! I get home today, Ben. I'll be there by dinner time.
Ben: Oh! Good! Promise?
Me: Yes. I promise. [Editor's note: a big mistake just occurred.] And, guess what...
Ben: What?
Me: I'm bringing you another souvenir!
Ben: What is it?!
Me: You'll see. Just be good for mommie for one more day, ok?
Ben: OK.
Me: Can I talk with your brother now?
...
In the past 4 weeks, I've been on 17 flights (on 5 different airlines), through 8 different airports. As I'm sure many here (especially those with families) know, this sucks. And it's not just bad for me. It's worse for my wife.... and especially my 2 kids.
So why am I posting this here?
Well, because I'm pissed off and I needed an outlet in which to whine and vent.
By the way, did you know that President Bush visited Cincinnati, Ohio today? I didn't either.
Actually, that's not technically accurate. He actually visited Indian Hill today, the richest suburb (by far) of Cincinnati. But he had to fly into the Greater Cincinnati International Airport (CVG), the regional hub of Delta airlines, to get there. It was a very important visit, with major ramifications, as I will relate below.
12:30-2:30 PM EST
I get dropped off at the airport in "City A" [not Cincinnati]. It's only my third day from home on this trip, but I'm already exhausted. I'm very early for my 3:00 flight, so I eat lunch in the terminal and shop for souvenirs for my boys. (So, I confess, I lied a little that morning to Ben.) At around 2:00, I make my way through security to the gate.
As is my custom, I find a seat near an outlet and power up my laptop. I don't hear the first announcement. In fact, it isn't until I notice that a very large line has formed at the counter that I start to pay attention to my surroundings. Then, about 2:30, I hear the second announcement:
Gate Agent: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. All passengers for NorthWest flight xxxx to "<City B>" [not Cincinnati], please be advised that our plane has been delayed in arriving. Unfortunately, this means that we will not be able to make our 3:00 departure time. At this point, it looks like we will be delayed for about an hour and a half. So, I would like to ask that any passengers who need to make connections in <City B> before 6:00, please come to the counter and we will try to accommodate you.
Me: Oh shit.
So what was Bush doing in Indian Hill, you might be wondering at this point? Important things with big consequences. Don't worry... I'm getting to that.
3:15 PM EST
(approximate transcript of cell phone call, joined in progress)
Me: Yeah, I'm still in line, so I have no idea yet. I'll call you back as soon as I know. Oh yeah, can I talk to Ben?
My wife: He's still down for his [after pre-school] nap. It took him longer to go down than normal because he was so excited that you're coming home. He kept asking when.
...
I imagine he was mainly excited about his souvenir prospects. (I couldn't find much in the airport, so I got him a bunch of candy. What a cop out. But unfortunately, I've already exhausted most of the airport-gift-shop-type souvenir options.)
At about 3:30, I finally got to the counter. The agent wanted to put me on two NorthWest flights that eventually arrived at my destination ("City C" [not Cincinnati])), but they didn't get there until around 11, and I knew that the last shuttle from City C to my hometown (City D, [not Cincinnati]), about an hour away, left City C at 10:40. So I pushed him to do better. Finally, he got me onto a United flight to City E [not Cincinnati] and then an American flight to City D. The American flight was supposed to arrive at 10:30. Just in time. I'll take it. (Oh yeah, and they gave me a $35 coupon for my troubles. It barely covered dinner in the airport, but I guess it was a "nice gesture".)
Only one real major problem: Ben. (I try to call back, but they aren't home... probably picking up my oldest from school.)
One minor problem (relative to the broken promise, that is) is I have to hang out in the airport at City A until 6:30, and I have a ton of work to catch up on. I figured first thing I'd do is catch up on several phone calls I needed to make, one of which was to my dad (it was actually for "business" purposes). After some phone tag, I finally got to talk with him:
4:45 PM EST
(approximate transcript of cell phone call, joined in progress)
Me: You're in <City F> [not Cincinnati]?? What are you doing there?
...
Me: So when are you coming back? [to Cincinnati! (where my Dad lives)]
Dad: As soon as they let us take off. We're on the way to the airport right now...
Me: What do you mean?
Dad: Well, it's pretty cool... the company I'm here to meet with has their own private jet, and so they're flying me back to Cincinnati...
Me: Cool!
Dad: ...but apparently, President Bush is in Cincinnati right now, so we have to wait. In fact, I can't really talk right now...
Me: Ah ha! I bet that explains why so many flights here are delayed!
Dad: I guess you can add that to your list of things to blame him for. [btw, Dad's a wingnut]
Me: It will take me a while to find the bottom of the list...
...
As I'd been sitting in the airport for hours, I'd noticed that there were many unhappy people... many long lines like the one I'd waited in at the gate counter... many delayed flights.
I'd been amusing myself with some rough mental calculations: roughly 50 who missed their connections on my flight, $35 per passenger, how many flights out of <City A> per hour, etc. With my dad's comment, the calculations just got a lot bigger.
Air Force One landed at our international airport [CVG] at 3:51 p.m. Thursday, followed by a motorcade that took President Bush to a fund-raiser in Indian Hill.
All flights at CVG were grounded while Air Force One was arriving, and the same situation will occur when it departs.
When the President travels, it's a big deal:
(from 3/22/2004)
...
Although Air Force One's operating costs per person far exceed the cost of even a first-class commercial ticket, the logic is that it's unfair to charge the president's campaign for the full cost of operating Air Force One because he has no choice but to fly on the presidential plane for security reasons.
"One hundred seventy million dollars would not be nearly enough for the president to run for re-election if he had to reimburse the full cost of traveling on Air Force One," Federal Election Commission spokesman Bob Biersack said.
...
The Bush campaign declined to specify how much Bush's travel costs. But whatever the costs, they are worth it, McClellan said.
"This president believes it's important to get outside of Washington, D.C., and visit with the American people, and hear their concerns and talk to them about what we are doing to address those concerns," McClellan said.
...
But when the trip involves only official presidential business, Bush's campaign doesn't pay a dime -- even if the president benefits from the exposure. During such trips, Bush can't explicitly campaign for re-election.
I wonder if today's very important trip counted as "official business". After all, Bush wasn't campaigning for his re-election...
The event is a fund-raiser for Republican U.S. Senator Mike Dewine.
At least 150 people were expected to attend the event, which costs a minimum of $4,200 per person.
For VIP status and a photo opportunity with the President, the attendee must raise $10,000 for the Dewine campaign.
The event was expected to raise a significant amount of money for Dewine.
See, I told you: it was a very important visit.
And it had huge ramifications.
6:55 PM EST
(approximate transcript of cell phone call, joined in progress)
Me: Yeah. I finally just got on the plane. I was calling to talk with ... Hang on, they're making an announcement and I can't hear.
Captain: ...on the flight deck. I'm sorry to say that I just got off the radio with ATC in <City E> and it looks like there's a logjam there. They're going to keep us on the ground here until they can squeeze us in. At this point, I can't say exactly how long it will be, but ATC is estimating about a 45 minute wait. That means that our final arrival time is going to by about an hour and a half later that scheduled. We apologize for this, but it's due to circumstances beyond our control. In the meantime, we're going to taxi out onto the ramp so we can be ready to go immediately. And they promised to let us in if there's even a brief opening in the traffic, so there's still a chance that we might get there a little earlier. For those of you with connecting flights, we'll do the best we can. For now, please just sit back and relax and we'll let you know as soon as anything changes. Thanks.
Flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry about this. If we'd known just a little bit sooner, we wouldn't have boarded you. But, as you just heard the captain say, we will be taxiing to the ramp area at this time. Therefore, he has turned on the "fasten seat belts" sign and we ask that you please discontinue use of all portable electronic devices, including cell phones, as policies dictate that once the plane leaves the gate, they can no longer be used.
My wife: I heard that. Crap. Are you going to miss your connection?
Me: I don't know! I gotta look. <Digging for my card under the seat.>
My (worried) wife: Which airline would pay if you had to stay in City E?
Me I don't know! But I gotta go. They're taxiing and the flight attendant is coming. I'll call you as soon as I can.
My wife: I love you! Ben says to hurry home!
Me: Tell him I'm trying. I love you too. Bye!
...
Well, thankfully, we didn't sit there for 45 minutes. Only 30. And they flew really low and fast to City E. I was going to make my connection... barely. If I ran. I had to go from the United Terminal (Terminal C) to the American terminal (Terminal Area 3). (OK. I guess I gave away City E... it was Chicago Ohare, and that meant this was a friggin long way!)
As soon as I got off the plane, I ran to the Departures board and looked for my flight. But it was only United flights in this terminal (about a third of which showed "Delayed"). When I finally got to Terminal Area 3, it was 7:15 CST. The board showed two flights to City C... both delayed! My flight had been delayed until 9:30 CST (10:30 EST), which meant I was going to miss the last shuttle. But the other flight had been delayed until 7:15! Maybe there was hope!! So I sprinted to the end of Terminal K (carrying my luggage... I was impressed with myself!), I got there just as the gate attendant was closing the door to the jetway. I noticed that the sign above the desk said 7:20, so I felt there must have been some divine intervention. But the gate attendant told me that they wouldn't let me on the flight. I was too late.
Not to be denied, I argued with her. Pleaded. Told her about my son. etc. Finally, she let me on, telling me to drop my bag on the jetway as I got on because all of the overhead bins were already full. I was in the middle seat in the very last row.
As I got on the plane, I got many dirty looks from the other passengers (who, remember, had been delayed themselves getting on this flight, I think for about 90 minutes)... especially when they called me back up to the front to tell me it was too late to put my bag below and we'd have to find room for it on the plane. While I was up in front talking with the flight attendants, two of them were engaged in a very animated/angry conversation with the pilots. I asked a third one what was up and she told me that apparently they were going to take the plane out of service and deboard us! There was some sort of problem with it, but she didn't know what.
I went back to my seat in the back and was in the process of telling my seatmates about this when my wife called my cell phone to see if I'd made it to Chicago.
7:30 PM CST / 8:30 PM EST
(approximate transcript of cell phone call, joined in progress)
Me: ...Well the good news is that they let me on, but the bad news is...
Captain: Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have some bad news...
My wife: Ben fell asleep...
At this point, I have to say that I wasn't all that unhappy because when they deboarded us, I got to quickly grab a sandwich for dinner -- I was starving! (But, altogether, this "dinner" cost well over 10 bucks.)
Amazingly, American was pretty quick to bring over another plane! I soon found out why. It turned out the flight crew had been on duty since very early that morning and if they weren't pushed back from the gate by 8:55 PM, they would become "illegal" and either (a) we'd have to wait while American recruited a new flight crew or, more likely, (b) the flight would have to be canceled.
After they announced this in the gate area, I don't think I've ever seen a faster, more orderly boarding than I saw in the next 20 minutes. (I was almost proud to be an American! Nah.)
As I got onto the plane, I overheard snippets of many different conversations:
"... I think we can still make our connection ..."
"I think we should have just taken the free plane tickets in Denver... we're not going to make it."
"Hi hon. This has been the trip from hell!"
"I don't know. That's what they said an hour ago."
"I guess I'll have to rent a car when I get there..."
"You should have seen the zoo in <City B>!"
The people in the seats in front of me had been traveling since 4:30 AM. My seat mates (the same ones as before... we all had the same seats) were both on this flight because they'd missed connections. Being in the back, we were right next to the flight attendant's station and we started talking with them while the front of the plane finished boarding. They were actually hoping we'd go slower because they were exhausted. They'd been held up on two previous flights and were way behind their schedules. They had been hoping to stay in Chicago because 2 of them were based there, at least one of which had kids there waiting at home for her. But that was not to be.
We arrived in City C at 10:30 PM EST. As I wrote, the last shuttle was supposed to leave for City D at 10:40 PM. I was in the last row of the plane. I got off at 10:38. Again, I did my best OJ impression and ran (again carrying my luggage... impressive, eh?) nonstop through the terminal to the shuttle stop. I got there as it was pulling away from the curb. I ran in front of it. They let me on!
When I got on, people on the shuttle weren't as pissed at me as I thought they'd be. (Except for the driver.) As I settled in, I soon figured out why. The person in the seat in front of mine was on her cell phone: "...and I had to run through the terminal to get to it... I can't believe it either... I hope they let me reschedule." The couple across from me were complaining about missing their connection to the person in the seat behind them.
Of course, I joined in too, making sure everyone knew that it was because Bush had been in Cincinnati on important business!
When I finally got to City D (at midnight), I had to roust a friend to come pick me up and drive me home because, of course, by this time, my kids were asleep.
And, as I sit here now, in my home, feeling much better having typed this in, Ben is asleep in the next room. He fell asleep waiting for his Daddy... who broke his promise.
I feel horrible. And tired. But I'm glad that it was for a good reason.
---
I'd planned to write more at this point... to expound upon the economic "ripple effects" of Bush's fund-raising, not just the direct costs in Cincinnati either. (The ripples are more like tsunamis. Consider just the amount of traffic that goes through Ohare in an evening. Now consider the airlines having to make amends to all of the disgruntled passengers who were delayed and missed connections -- I wonder if they keep any kind of stats on that. Now consider all of the missed business meetings, wasted days (like mine!), cell phone calls, rent cars, gas, and most importantly to me right now, children who went to sleep still waiting for their mommies and daddies to come home.)
But instead I think I should go get some sleep so I can get up bright and early and spend some time with my kids.
Oh, and OK. I admit, I lied again. Bush's trip may not have been really important (to me) and perhaps it went under the corporate media's radar... But it still had big ramifications. They always do.